Today we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, and I find myself a bit gobsmacked.
Just a few years ago, we had grown apart to a point where I was pretty sure we would have divorced by now.
On our 19th wedding anniversary, I looked at our lives and I was afraid.
Our kids were teenagers. One was about to graduate from high school, and the others weren’t far behind. I knew that within the next few years, our nest would begin to empty. It would be just my husband and me.
Big Guy and I were at the lowest point of our marriage. Sexual intimacy had slowed to a trickle at less than once a month. We rarely had a conversation that wasn’t about the kids or about things we had to do. We’d stopped arguing–because we’d stopped caring. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed with Big Guy. Articles I read about revitalizing your marriage always included a question about why you’d married each other in the first place; I honestly couldn’t remember.
At 19, I wasn’t sure we’d make it to 20. I had absolutely no hope that we’d make it to 25.
Six years ago I had no hope for our marriage.
Today we are both happier in our marriage than we would have believed possible. Our intimacy (sexual, emotional, and spiritual) is the best it’s ever been, and it continues to grow. We laugh together quite often, and although our nest isn’t completely empty, we enjoy having the house to ourselves more and more.
I know that my work to change myself is part of the reason we are here.
Even more, though, is the fact that my husband stayed with me even when I had sexually abandoned him. I didn’t think we would make it to this day, but he never doubted. His persistent love in the face of my stubborn resistance is the best example of Christ’s love that I have ever seen.
Happy anniversary to Doug, my Big Guy. I’m so glad to be married to you.
Image of rings courtesy of Boykung at FreeDigitalPhotos.net