You can conquer the learning curve!

I’ve been busy preparing for our podcast launch.

Much of the work has come naturally and is more fun than it is work: social media planning and posting, brainstorming ideas for podcast episodes, writing program notes, and having and recording our conversations about sexual intimacy in Christian marriages.

One thing, however, has been a challenge for me: sound editing. I came to this with absolutely no experience working with sound. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Read More →

No mess is bigger than God.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I was working at a private college with several Catholic sisters on staff and went to a meeting to discuss the non-academic challenges faced by some students. Some of our students had serious messes in their lives.

My colleagues and I shared a few stories about the ways God’s providence was evident in the way these students managed to rise above their challenges.

One of the sisters thought for a moment, then quietly said something along these lines: “It’s in the mess where the Holy Spirit resides.” Read More →

Is it okay for a Christian wife to enjoy sex?

Sexual intimacy is about so much more than just the physical pleasure—but sometimes we diminish the value of this pleasure just because it is physical.

God designed us to experience sexual enjoyment. With over 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoris exists only for sexual pleasure.

Despite God’s clear intention for us to experience sexual pleasure, many women struggle to fully enjoy the physical pleasure that comes with sex. (I am not talking here about struggling to experience an orgasm, which I’ve written about here.)
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Escape to the mountains. Genesis 19:17

Finding encouragement for marriage growth in the bible isn’t exactly unexpected. However, I was somewhat surprised to find such encouragement as I was reading about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Read More →

What is your husband saying that you might be misunderstanding?

Alone in the car for a long drive recently, I turned on the radio to find some music that would help me stay alert.

I landed on a classic oldies station (meaning every single song was something from my youth).

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I’m so excited to get to share with you about a new resource that will be launching six weeks from today: a podcast about sex, just for Christian wives.

Sex Chat for Christian Wives is a biblically-based podcast brought to you by Bonny Burns (Bonny’s OysterBed7), Gaye Christmus (Calm.Healthy.Sexy.), J Parker (Hot, Holy & Humorous), and yours truly.

A new podcast for Christian wives!

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It’s time for a Loveliness of Links from last month!

Just like a loveliness of ladybugs all working can help cultivate a healthy garden, a loveliness of blog posts can help you cultivate a healthy—and intimate—marriage. Read More →

In the difficult times in my life, my greatest accomplishment has seemed to be this: I survived. In fact, I sometimes think that would be a great epitaph for my gravestone, event though the gravestone would obviously contradict the words.

As I reflect on 2016 in terms of blogging, I would have to say the same thing: I survived. The blog is still here. Read More →

Merry Christmas!

I’ve been experiencing the usual busy-ness of December. The first few weeks are crunch time at work, and then I run into all the things I need to do to prepare for Christmas celebrations. Read More →

The benefits--and limits--of duty sex

A wife who’s resisted sex for a long time can face a tough journey when she begins to work on sexual intimacy.

The goal should be a thriving sexual relationship with her husband. Sometimes, though, it’s easier for a sexually reluctant wife to think of sex as little more than duty sex in which she allows her husband to have an orgasm with her body. Men report that this leaves them feeling emotionally empty and deprived—and honestly, it doesn’t do so much for us emotionally, either. (I’ve written about the downsides of duty sex here, here, here, and here.)

Getting comfortable with duty sex should not be the end goal for a wife who decides to work on sex.

However, duty sex isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it is a helpful early step in a wife’s journey toward joyful sexual intimacy. Read More →