Is it okay for a Christian wife to enjoy sex?

Sexual intimacy is about so much more than just the physical pleasure—but sometimes we diminish the value of this pleasure just because it is physical.

God designed us to experience sexual enjoyment. With over 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoris exists only for sexual pleasure.

Despite God’s clear intention for us to experience sexual pleasure, many women struggle to fully enjoy the physical pleasure that comes with sex. (I am not talking here about struggling to experience an orgasm, which I’ve written about here.)
Read More →

What is your husband saying that you might be misunderstanding?

Alone in the car for a long drive recently, I turned on the radio to find some music that would help me stay alert.

I landed on a classic oldies station (meaning every single song was something from my youth).

Read More →

Is this a season of joy or a season of stress for you?

I used to dread this time of year.

Like many other women, I was busy, busy, busy. I had shopping, kids’ concerts, class parties, baking, extra church activities, decorating, and work-related holiday events for both my husband and me. Plus, it was a crunch time at my job. Much of this was outside my control, although some of it I placed on my own shoulders in my efforts to “do Christmas right.”

People would mention Christmas joy and I rolled my eyes. Who has time for joy? I would think. I can barely remember what it was like for Christmas to feel merry. Read More →

Weary with the Sorrow of Loneliness

From middle school into adulthood, my best friends and I grew from girlhood into womanhood together.

In high school, my friends always seemed to have dates—or at least guys who were interested in them. Me? Not so much. I jealously looked on from the sidelines, wondering if I would ever find a guy who liked me. I worried that I would spend my life alone and lonely. Read More →

Have experiences with sexual harassment affected your marriage bed?

 

Women have been sharing their stories of sexual harassment in articles that are making the rounds on social media lately. (If you’re a man reading this, start here.)

Like many of you, these articles have gotten me thinking about my own experiences.

Read More →

What can you do when your needs are not being met?

In Lost in Translation, I wrote about a typical husband’s desire for his wife to be more passionate. I encouraged you to understand what your husband means and try to fulfill that. I suggested that you help your husband better see what you already are doing toward that end.

The other side to this is equally important—getting our needs met. Although I often write about a husband’s desires and perspective, in no way does that diminish you, your perspective, or your needs. Both spouses matter in marriage.

What can you do when you’re the one with a need that isn’t being met? Read More →

Is reading sexually explicit romance novels good for your marriage?

Imagine that you see your husband sitting on the couch, looking raptly at his computer screen. You ask him what he is watching, and he casually says—as if it’s no big deal—that he’s watching porn. He tries to explain why it’s a good thing: “It’s good for our marriage. Porn turns me on and then I want to have sex with you. I know these are just actors, so it’s not like I think it’s real. Besides, I deserve a little escape from all the stuff going on at work.”

You probably don’t sit back and think, Oh, well, I’ll just watch Dancing with the Stars while he sits there and watches his porn. Read More →

 How can you find peace when you’ve made so many changes and your husband has barely budged?

When we work on the sexual intimacy in our marriages, it should be because we believe it is the right thing to do—not for the express purpose of getting our husbands to change. (Disclaimer: I say this as a woman whose initial attention to our sexual intimacy was to get my husband to change.)

flourish2

It can be far easier to see our husbands’ faults than it is to see our own. You may have a mental list of things you would love for your husband to change. I certainly did! Read More →

Are you a multiple-browser-tab woman married to a man with a one-track mind?

Like many men, my husband has a one-track mind.

That isn’t to say that he only thinks about one thing ever. It’s more that he only ever thinks of one thing at a time.

When he is thinking about what he wants to eat, that is what he is thinking about. When he sees an interesting article on his Facebook feed, he reads it right away and then is done. If he is thinking about sex, that is all he is thinking about (and trust me, that definitely has its benefits for me!). When he is on the computer, he has only one browser window open at a time, with only one tab. The same can be said for his mind.
Read More →

Is the way you avoid sex adding to the emotional disconnection in your marriage?

My hormones have been wonky lately as I head into menopause. Part of this has included an increase in vivid dreams. Sometimes the dreams relate to what I write about on this blog.

Recently I had such a dream that has stayed with me. Read More →

Post Navigation