Are you a Christian wife who wants to work on sexual intimacy in her marriage? Join us as we chat about Getting Comfortable Letting Our Husbands Look.

One thing I really love about women is how we reach out to support and encourage each other. My favorite thing in comments on my blog posts is when women reach out to each other. I have been looking for ways to encourage these even more here.

I am going to try out a new feature at The Forgiven Wife—live chats!

Just to be clear, I’m talking about chatting by typing—no skype or audio chatting for this girl. (Confession: As tech-savvy as I am about many things, I have no idea how to use skype unless my daughter calls me first. I don’t even remember how we figured out what my username was.)

As I said I would do in this post, I’ve been praying about this idea and know that I need to move forward with it. Around the beginning of the year, I began to sense that God was leading me to strengthen the ministry that happens here by focusing on the mission and expanding the way the ministry happens. I thought maybe that would include doing some speaking engagements, and while I suspect that is in the future, I’m much happier with the idea of doing a chat for now.

At this point, I plan to have one live chat a month. We’ll see how that goes for a few months, and I’ll adjust as needed. It may be that the whole thing is a dud, or maybe it will be something that helps enough that we need a higher frequency.

Each chat will have a theme to provide some focus, and I’ll be asking for suggested topics or questions in advance.


Among my concerns about hosting a chat are privacy and safety. In talking about sexual intimacy, we don’t want our intimate details, insecurities, and questions posted out there for the world to see—especially if our real names are attached to what we say. And it’s a lot easier to talk about this stuff when we don’t have to worry about guys looking in.

A chat page on my own site seems to offer the best option for privacy and safety, and it allows me the most control over what happens.

Here’s how it will work:

  • The chats will be for wives only. While there is no way for me to guarantee everyone’s gender or marital status, I want to do my best to make the chat feel like a safe and private place.
  • I have set up a password-protected chat page. In order to access the page, women will need to register in advance for each chat. I will reply with the password and some basic instructions.
  • The password will go “live” only at the beginning of the chat and will be changed to a super-secret password immediately afterward. Each chat event will have a different password.
  • Although I will save a transcript of each chat for my own records, the chat comments will be deleted from the page immediately following each chat so no one will be able to look back at what was said during previous chats.
  • Chat participants will be able to choose their own usernames for each chat. This will help preserve anonymity.


Thanks to awesome suggestions through my recent survey (you can find the link here), I have a few topics in mind for the first few chats:

  • Getting and staying motivated to work on sexual intimacy
  • Communicating our own desires and needs
  • Learning to be sex-positive
  • Apologizing and moving forward
  • Dealing with past sexual trauma

Let’s Chat!

I’d like to plan the first chat for Wednesday, May 27, at 8 pm central time. We’ll probably go for about an hour.

To find your local time:

  1. Go to
  2. In the Location 1 box, scroll to United States and choose America/Chicago.
  3. Enter time as 20:00:00.
  4. Enter date as 2015-5-27.
  5. Use the Location 2 box to select your local time.
  6. Click on the Show button (it’s partly hidden in the screenshot below). You should see your local time on the next page.



This first chat will be about Getting Comfortable Letting Our Husbands Look. We’ll talk about body image and self consciousness. If you have some strategies for getting comfortable getting naked with the lights on, I hope you’ll share!

Register for the chat by completing the form below. You’ll receive an email (not right away, since I have to do it all manually) with some basic instructions as well as the password for the chat. Please register no later than an hour before the chat.

The contact form has been removed since the chat is over. Thank you so much to those of you who participated!

Note: I am the only one who will see  what is type into this form.

If you want to leave a comment that can be seen by others, use the “Leave a Reply” box below the post.

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