Note: In this post, I will be discussing emotional safety, healing, and forgiveness. If you are being emotionally abused, or if you fear for your physical safety because of physical abuse or the threat of it, please seek help and support as soon as possible. What I am writing about here does not apply to you. 

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This is the second of a series of posts about emotional safety in marriage. In my previous post, I wrote about how hurt can lead us to build walls in our marriage as a way of providing emotional safety. My intention was to write this post about strategies for tearing down those walls—but I am going to save that for next time.

I want to talk a bit about how the walls we build to keep ourselves emotionally safe can imprison us—and what we must do before we can work on tearing down the walls. Read More →

Sex can be the means to reconciliation just as much as it can be the reflection of it.

In recent comments on a post from last year, a woman asked about having sex with your husband when you’re mad at him:

“I don’t know about anyone else but I can’t have sex when I’m angry. I have to make up first and have good feelings about my husband. Sex isn’t just physical.”

I think it’s true for a lot of women that it is hard to be sexually intimate with our husbands when we are angry and hurting. Read More →