Does it help us to view a porn habit as an addiction?

I’d like to preface this post with a few notes:

  • I am not in any way claiming scientific expertise here. I’ve done a lot of reading and research, but one of my points is that research doesn’t measure everything. If you’re looking for links to scientific studies, you won’t find them here.
  • Many women have a porn problem, too. I’m not addressing that in this post, although if this applies to you, you might find some insight.
  • As I talk about husbands quitting porn, I am referring to men who have a persistent porn habit that they want to quit.

Pornography hurts marriages. Women have shared with me the heartache they’ve experienced upon discovering a husband’s porn habit. It is common to feel hurt and betrayed.

Our shared sex life is where we are most vulnerable with our husbands. It is where we are most naked.

That same vulnerability that can make sex such an exquisite, connecting experience is what opens us up to being deeply hurt when it comes to anything sexual, including porn. Read More →

No mess is bigger than God.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I was working at a private college with several Catholic sisters on staff and went to a meeting to discuss the non-academic challenges faced by some students. Some of our students had serious messes in their lives.

My colleagues and I shared a few stories about the ways God’s providence was evident in the way these students managed to rise above their challenges.

One of the sisters thought for a moment, then quietly said something along these lines: “It’s in the mess where the Holy Spirit resides.” Read More →