The Power of “Me, Too!”


I wrote today’s post with Bonny from Pearl’s OysterBed.

Every once in a while, you get to know another woman whose heart speaks into yours. As you get to know each other, you realize that every encounter results in at least one “me, too!” Eventually, you know there are things you no longer need to explain, because you just know the other person gets it, and gets you. Sometimes, before you really even know each other, you know that you’ve found a soul sister.

In today’s world, this can happen even when you’ve never actually met.

When I began this blog, I was thinking about following God’s call to do His ministry. The blogging community has been an unexpected blessing—not least because it introduced me to my bloggy soul sister Bonny from Pearl’s OysterBed. She and I have discovered countless “me, too!” separated-at-birth kinds of similarities.

Chris and I (Bonny) have been on a journey of discovery the past couple of months.  What started out as professional-blogger-formally-written emails evolved into pajama party giggles and whispers , lots of LOLs and,”Me, too’s!” .  We virtually painted each other’s fingernails as we talked about our lives and outlooks.  We couldn’t quite fathom the abundance of parallels.  That’s when we realized we were separated at birth!

Finding sisters in blogging is important for support, because it can be an isolating.  New relationships through Christian ministry blogging are unexpected and wonderful blessings.  What makes Chris exceptional is she’s my kindred soul sister.  We not only share mirrored lives but ministries.

Chris explains it so well in the next two paragraphs.

One of our soul-sister similarities is that we walk the same path toward reclaiming our marriages through attention to sexual intimacy. We got to that path for different reasons and in different ways, but we both felt disconnected from our husbands, who were sexually miserable. (You can find Bonny’s story here and my story here and here.)

We both learned and began to make changes in intimacy; we’ve both seen all areas of our marriages grow as a result. We are both still on the path of restoration. She is further along the path than I am (and she’s been blogging longer, too)—but we have both worked to knock down the walls that interfered with intimacy with our husbands.

What do you do when you find a soul sister? You find more stuff to do together!

We’re on the same path our readers are on, just a little bit further ahead. We’re a tag team. We know that we each offer a unique perspective and will continue doing our individual blogs as we have. That won’t change. We just want to add to it a bit.

We aren’t completely sure what shape this collaboration will take, but we have some ideas and we’re excited to watch it grow.

We are ‘the fresher journey that’s moving toward greatness in intimacy’ and ‘the journey that’s not so fresh but has gotten into a good groove.’  We are both cheerleaders for our Christian sisters wanting to improve intimacy.  Chris is still early enough in the journey to be able to say, “I feel your pain, and even though it seems counterintuitive, this is the path.”  I am able to cheer us on by saying, “I knew your pain, this is the path and truly the best is yet to come.”

I am excited beyond belief that my soul sister, Chris, and I are swimming in the deep end together!  We pray that our combined voices will be more effective in reaching wives that are on the verge of knocking down their own sexual walls of interference. 

We want to be led by God and be used by God.  “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow… …..And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:9&12.”

Please be in prayer with us as we step forward into an exciting journey!

Here’s what we have in mind:

Shared social media. Our shared facebook and twitter pages will post things from both of us as well as a few other things we find interesting.  OysterBed7 and Forgiven Wife will continue to maintain their separate social media.

Synchronized posting. Look for days when we respond to each other’s posts and share on the same topics.

Work through books and studies together. We are looking at fun and sexy books about wifehood that we will review or give our dissenting opinions and why.

Shared resources on our blogs. All of our collaborative work will have a special section on both our blogs.

More, more, more! We just don’t know for sure yet, but we’ll have fun figuring it out as we meander along.

We are all set to go, except for one little thing . . . we don’t have a name for our collaboration. (We’ve had a blast trying, though.)

We need your help! 

We would love for you to suggest your ideas. We’re looking for something Christian, sexy, and hopefully a little funny.

Our favorite one so far is Steamy Christian Reformed and Educated Wives. Of course, it gives us the acronym SCREW, so we thought we should probably rule that one out.

So then we came up with Jericho Wives. You know, knocking down the walls of Jericho and knocking down the walls of intimacy.

We both read Song of Solomon for inspiration. (Side note: We were reading SoS at the EXACT SAME TIME. I sent Bonny a list of ideas from SoS. And then I clicked on my email and found her list of ideas from SoS.)

We have a big list of ideas—some Biblical, some silly, some sexy. Here’s what we have so far (along with some editorial comments):

  • Lilies Among Thorns
  • Shade Sitters
  • Makers of the Verdant Bed
  • The Unsealed Fountain
  • Unleashing the Fawns (because Chris wasn’t loving her bra that day)
  • Myrrh and Spice
  • Awakened Wives Club
  • Fawns and Fruits
  • Searching for Tirzah
  • Awakened Like the Dawn
  • Blooming Pomegranates
  • Bearers of the Rounded Goblet
  • The Best Wine
  • Budded Vines
  • Ones Bringing Contentment
  • Giving Away the Vineyard
  • The Thousand Shekels
  • Delight
  • The Verdant Bed
  • Flock of Goats (jk….but hey, if Flock of Seagulls can be a band’s name…..)
  • Milk and Honey
  • The Finest Spice
  • Sweetness Itself
  • Altogether Lovely
  • Favored
  • Grove of nut trees  (This really applies to my household most days!)
  • Nectar of pomegranates
  • Sachet of Myrrh
  • Christian Sexual Awakening Ministries?  (Kind of boring)
  • Awakening of the Heart
  • Arousing Love
  • Like Perfume Poured Out
  • Wisdom Like Honey
  • The Slopes of Gilead
  • Looking Towards Damascus

We want to know what you think. Do you like any of these? Do you have something else to suggest? If you suggest a name and we like it so much that we use it, we’ll even get you an awesome Christian marriage book. Post your votes and ideas in the comments below—or on Bonny’s post today—or email one of us at (me) or (Bonny).

God has led us to this wonderful collaborative adventure. We’re excited to invite you along for the ride.

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21 Comments on “The Power of “Me, Too!””

  1. At this moment I have no input for a name, but the “Grove of Nut Trees” made me laugh (probably because it describes myself all too well)!

    So glad you found each other… isn’t God good to bring in a Joshua for a Moses, a Jonathan for a David, a Barnabus for a Paul, a Delilah for a Samson… OOPS wrong example. :P… a Bonny for a Chris or a Chris for a Bonny!?!

    May His blessings pour out on your collaboration.

  2. Hey that’s great, I’m so happy for the two of you. Finding a kindred spirit is wonderful!!

    Will you both be maintaining your separate blogs, or will everything be joined?

    1. We will continue to maintain our separate blogs, social media, etc. We have our own missions, voices, and so on. We are just adding to what we already do. When we do something in tandem, it will show up on both our blogs–just like today’s post did.

  3. I am very excited for you ladies! I love both of your blogs and believe you will be very powerful together. My favorite on your list of names – The Finest Spice.

    Another area where you might collaborate is a group Pinterest board. Group boards have been a great way to encourage people to visit my blog who might not find it otherwise. But, I haven’t found many group boards that focus on marriage; most of the ones I belong to are health oriented or sort of general inspirational.

  4. I love to read both blogs. 🙂 My favorite of the names you have on your list is “The Awakened Wives Club”. It speaks to the terminology of the Marriage Bed Forums that started my “awakening story” and it really is a “club” and we need many more added to the membership roles. 🙂

  5. I like Awakened Wives Club. Some of the other names had me in tears (Unleashing the Fawns & Grove of Nut Trees in particular!) – there’s nothing like a good belly laugh!!

    1. I liked
      Searching for Tirzah too!
      It intrigues me and makes me want to know more of what you have to say about Tirzah 🙂

      Also, I liked The Finest Spice.

      But I wanted to add (in Bed) at the end, you know like you do when you read a fortune cookie? At least that’s what I do with girlfriends… we read the fortune cookie and then add (in bed) at the end of each saying…. quite humorous actually.

  6. What about something including the word “Effatha” – everybody (in a Christian context at least) will know that it has something to do with opening up.

    Perhaps you are “Enfolding Effatha”, “Effatha encouraged” or “Effatha endeared”; you may be demonstrating “Effatha efforts” or the two of you are “Echoes of Effatha”. My examples are not convincing, but perhaps you can elaborate yourself.

  7. I am so thrilled to hear you guys “found” each other! 🙂 I follow both of your blogs. 🙂 I too walked the same path toward reclaiming my marriage through attention to sexual intimacy. AFTER 24 YEARS! Who said it couldn’t be done with the Lord’s help! 🙂 I guess that is why when I go though my list of emails, I highlight your posts first to read. 🙂 I find my self saying AMEN a lot when I read both of your posts. About the name for your collaboration…loved some of your suggestions. 😉 May I suggest you make it inviting to the “newbies” like we were once upon a time. I will never forget when the light bulb when off for me when I realized that I was starving my sweet husband by not giving him hardly any affection. It was like the Lord opened my eyes to reveal MY “gate-keeping”. So, If you could include some sort of reference to gate-keeping. Maybe something like New Songs for the Gate-Keepers. (I like the reference above mentioning SOS 4:16) Or, No More Gates.

  8. I think this is a great thing. You both are encouraging and have wonderful insights that only can come through going through the struggle yourselves. I think we will all benefit from what you two accomplish together.
    I still kind of like the name – Steamy Christian Reformed and Educated Wives – you could not use the acronym and it be kind of an inside joke. [I would suggest Rock His World, but it is taken :)] Okay, strange one here – Forgiven: A Journey towards the Pearl. [Sorry trying to combine both blogs – I have not had enough coffee today]
    Since I don’t have any good ideas, how about I will commit to pray for your venture?!

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