Under the Stars

Do you allow yourself to experience the vastness of God's designed for sex?

I was at church camp the first time I slept under the stars. I’d slept in tents plenty of times, so I was used to the sounds and feel of nighttime.

I was excited about the prospect of sleeping without a roof over my head–until I got to the big meadow where we would be sleeping, scoped out a good spot, and looked up. Continue reading Under the Stars

How Can I Pray for You?


Tomorrow I’ll be spending six solid hours in the car as I drive to get my daughter from school. (Why did she have to choose a university so far away from home?)

I plan to use the drive time to pray for marriages. (Don’t worry. I’ll pay attention to my driving, too. Fortunately, it’s almost entirely interstate.)

If you have prayer requests for your marriage or for a specific thing you are working on in yourself as you heal your marriage, please let me know. Post in the comments so others can pray for you as well. Or, if you have a private prayer need, you can email me at chris@forgivenwife.com.

How can I pray for you in your marriage?

Image credit graur razvan ionut freedigitalphotos.net

My trip is over and I am safely home with my daughter. I’ve closed the comments on this post, but you are always welcome to email me with prayer requests. I had a good trip with God, praying for those who commented and emailed. My God bless your marriages.

Ready to Give Up? Maybe . . . or Maybe Not

You’re ready to give up. You aren’t sure you ever really loved him or desired him—at least not the way you’re supposed to. It was a mistake to get married to each other, but with the kids and the house payment and the extended family connections, you’re stuck—or are you?

You aren’t happy in your marriage, and you’re pretty sure he isn’t, either. You don’t ask him, though, because once the words are said they become real and you have to deal with it.

Are you ready to give up, or are you willing to work on your marriage?

Continue reading Ready to Give Up? Maybe . . . or Maybe Not

A Toy Store Story

I remember the first time I took my daughter into a toy store. She was around eight years old (yes, I had avoided the experience for as long as possible), and we were buying a birthday gift for her friend. We went to the Glorious Aisle of Barbie Dolls—you know, the one that is all pink and smells of vinyl?

Is your husband like a kid in a toy store when it comes to sex?
Yes, I do still have Barbies. These happen to still be in the box.

My daughter went a little nuts. Deprived of the toy store experience for her whole life, she was stunned. Her eyes got big. Her jaw dropped. I think I might have seen tears of joy form in her eyes. Continue reading A Toy Store Story

Joyous Marriage

In this post, I suggested that you work intentionally and consistently on your sex life for one year and see if anything changed in your marriage.

One reader, Mrs. Stud (don’t you love that name?), commented that she had done just that! I invited her to share her story with us here.

After a year of deciding to look at sex as a frequent and positive feature of their marriage, her marriage is stronger than ever.

Thank you, Mrs. Stud, for sharing your story with us here!
Continue reading Joyous Marriage

The Right to “No”


Once I got the hang of not refusing, I was on a roll. No more “no” for me!

In some ways, it was easy—and got easier with time.  Many of the reasons I used to have for refusing had evaporated. As I met my husband’s emotional needs through sexual attention, it became easier for him to give me the emotional attention that I needed—and that made it easier for me to be sexual with him.

“No” was out of my vocabulary, and as our relationship healed, I didn’t miss it at all.

Continue reading The Right to “No”

Bring It into the Light

As I look back on my journey to improve sexual intimacy in our marriage, I can see a lot of things that I did a lot of things that worked well.

I gave myself permission to move slowly. I didn’t look at small failures as a sign that I couldn’t do it. I remembered that change is a process and not just a destination. I practiced a lot of things (deep breaths, sex-positive self-talk, etc.) in order to get better at them. I celebrated small successes. I found patience for my husband’s healing process.

What should you tell your husband about your plans to work on sexual intimacy in your marriage?

If I needed to do it again, I’d do it the same way—except for one thing: when I began to work on sexual intimacy, I didn’t tell Big Guy what I was up to. Continue reading Bring It into the Light

Bow-Dazzle! and 10 Other Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive During the Holidays

Spice up your sex life during the holidays
It begins. The whirlwind of holiday activities is around us—and so is the stress.

If you have begun working to change your sex life, stress can cause a pretty big hiccup. Continue reading Bow-Dazzle! and 10 Other Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive During the Holidays

Learning to Dance with Desire

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