I ♥ My Baby Daddy

What melts your heart for your husband?

For many years in our marriage, my husband and I seemed to be at odds rather than on the same team. I didn’t always feel like I loved him, and there were times when I allowed myself to feel irritated by just about everything he did.

I would go for long stretches convinced that our marriage had been a mistake, wondering what I had ever seen in him with little recollection of why I’d ever wanted to get married in the first place. Continue reading



I felt like a caged animal, trapped by my feelings and cornered by my husband’s words.

My feelings were my shackles. As a child, my sensitive nature was not welcomed. My parents encouraged common sense over emotion, and I never learned how to process the feelings that were interwoven into the fabric of my life. Continue reading

Silver Linings


It was bound to happen sooner or later. I wrote something that caused some women to feel hurt. I felt heartsick. I questioned a whole lot about myself. I was deluged with comments and hurtful emails.

There was a storm, and I was caught in the middle without an umbrella. Continue reading

Broken Dryer, Broken Promises


My wedding vows were easy to say. When I married Big Guy, I promised, “ I take you, [Big Guy], to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

It was an easy promise to say. It wasn’t such an easy promise to keep. Continue reading

Baby Steps for Moving Forward

What are your next steps?

When we are new at trying to change our approach to sexual intimacy in our marriages, many of us work on fundamentals that have to do with our hearts and attitude.

We stop saying “no,” we fully participate in sex instead of mentally checking out or urging our husbands just get it over with, and we try to learn about God’s design for sex in marriage. Continue reading

A Stumble Is Not a Defeat


Your heart has softened, and you’ve begun to understand how much your refusal has hurt your husband.

You’ve decided to change your approach to sexual intimacy, with a goal of no more refusing. You know that your husband receives your love best through sex, and you’re determined to make sure he knows you love him. Continue reading

How Do You Eat an Elephant?


A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of how overwhelming it can be to face the need to work on sexual intimacy in our marriages.

When we are in a habit of withholding sex from our husbands—no matter why the habit began or whether we’ve even been aware of it—the challenge can be daunting. Continue reading

Learning to Dance with Desire

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