What I Wish He Knew . . .

What do you want your husband to understand about your emotional and sexual needs?

The bible tells our husbands to live with us in an understanding way:

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

As much as I think my husband should automatically understand me and know what my needs are, I’ve had to learn to communicate with him and accept that he is not a mind-reader. Continue reading What I Wish He Knew . . .

Can a Christian Wife Learn to Be Wild?


What steps do you take to get comfortable with a non-vanilla sexual activity?

As you can probably guess from the title, this post will be a bit spicier than many of my other posts. If you are just beginning your journey to restore the sexual intimacy in your marriage, you may want to pass on this one for now.

This post addresses situations where you truly feel you have a choice. If your husband is placing unloving pressure on you or is asking to you sin, this post is not for you. If your husband’s request makes you feel fear or anxiety, then you may have some other work to do first. You may find this post more helpful.


On your journey to improved sexual intimacy, you may get to a point where your husband asks you do something that is so far outside your comfort zone that you think it’s just a little kinky. Continue reading Can a Christian Wife Learn to Be Wild?

Fixing Problems: A Tale of 1000 Stitches

Do you put off dealing with problems in your marriage?

I’m knitting a blanket.

Late last week, I began a section that was all the same kind of stitch. I went on autopilot and wasn’t paying close attention. At the end of the first row of that section, I had a feeling I’d missed something. I glanced back and didn’t see anything off. Apparently I didn’t look closely enough. I should have checked again a row or two later, because sometimes you can’t see mistakes until you’ve laid a little more yarn down.
Continue reading Fixing Problems: A Tale of 1000 Stitches

Listen Up!

Listen to me on podcasts at Delight Your Marriage!

Belah Rose at Delight Your Marriage has a podcast series of interviews with marriage writers about their marriages, seasons of struggle, and journeys of transformation.

I am delighted to be featured on her podcasts this week.

Belah did such a wonderful job helping me feel relaxed and comfortable that I didn’t want to stop talking—so my interview is in two separate podcasts.

You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to hear my voice rather than read it, this is your chance.

Thank you, Belah, for the opportunity to let my voice be heard in a different way.

When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain

How can you maintain sexual intimacy when you're dealing with pain?

Sexual intimacy doesn’t just serve to provide us with orgasms in our marriage. It also helps us to feel united as a couple. It builds our overall intimacy. It helps to bond us. This can especially be the case for many men as they experience the rush of the bonding hormone oxytocin that occurs at orgasm.

When our marriages are deprived of sexual intimacy, our marriages can hurt–even when that deprivation comes out of necessity due to a medical condition. Continue reading When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain

Traveling, Together

Are you sharing the journey of life with your husband, or are you living parallel lives?

For several weeks, I’ve been driving my husband to and from work (except that when he is in the car, he is the one doing the driving). It is a 45-minute drive one way through rush hour traffic and a couple awful road construction areas.

This has provided me with ample opportunity to ponder what it means to travel together with my husband–not just in the car but in our shared life as well. Continue reading Traveling, Together

When the Walls Are Down

The walls that keep you from fully loving your husband prevent you from receiving his love, too.

When there were walls between my husband and me, I wasn’t able to give him the love he needed.

I wasn’t able to receive love either.

Maintaining the wall that sent the “no sex for you” message meant that I avoided accepting things that I needed. Continue reading When the Walls Are Down

Learning to Dance with Desire

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