A good Christian marriage is like this red umbrella.

Photo by Kate Aldrich Photography

I loved this picture the first time I saw it because the red umbrella in this picture makes me think of a good Christian marriage.

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Make love to your husband.

In marriage, we should look for ways we can bless and love each other.

My husband brings me my favorite cookies from the grocery store. He gets me flowers. He gives me foot rubs. He takes me on drives to enjoy the fall colors. He does these things not out of a sense of obligation. He does them simply because he knows they make me feel deeply loved.

I make him meatloaf. I fill his pill box every week. I fold his underwear. I get his favorite brand of ketchup.

And sometimes I make love to him. Read More →

Have experiences with sexual harassment affected your marriage bed?


Women have been sharing their stories of sexual harassment in articles that are making the rounds on social media lately. (If you’re a man reading this, start here.)

Like many of you, these articles have gotten me thinking about my own experiences.

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When his sexual request is weird . . .

Note: If you are just beginning the journey to healthy sexual intimacy in your marriage, you may not be ready for this post just yet. Check out my Resources page, and start where you are. 

From time to time I get emails from wives who say something like, “He wants to do this funky thing. Is this okay? And if it’s okay, how on earth do I actually do it?” Read More →

Is untreated depression affecting the sexual intimacy in your marriage?

Several factors influenced my resistance to sex over so many years of our marriage. My sexual and emotional baggage and my responses to relational hurt were at the top of the list.

One more factor played a major role: depression. Read More →

When is the last time you flashed your husband?

When is the last time you flashed your husband? (Hopefully the answer is some time within the last 24 hours.)

You may be asking, “Why on earth would I want to flash my husband?” Read More →

Is it possible to heal from having your feelings dismissed in your marriage?


About fifteen years ago, our marriage began to sink to a new level of disconnection. Although several factors contributed to my disconnecting from my husband, the one that stands out the most is that my attempts to express my feelings to my husband were rejected.

When I needed to talk with my husband about things that were unrelated to him, it was okay for me to share my feelings. He would listen to me.

However, when it came to feelings about anything that involved him, things didn’t go so well. I needed him to hear me and to recognize my hurt. I needed him to hold me and tell me he loved me. Instead, he told me he didn’t want to hear about it. He told me why I shouldn’t feel the way I did. He told me the conversation was over. He told me to get over it. Read More →

We have different names for animals when they are gathered together.

A pride of lions. An exaltation of larks. A flock of goats. A parliament of owls. A leap of leopards. An ostentation of peacocks. An intrusion of cockroaches. A stand of flamingos. A murder of crows.

A group of ladybugs has a lovely name: a loveliness.

A loveliness of ladybugs. Read More →

10 ways to feel sexy this weekend

One thing that can help you look forward to sex is to do things that help you feel sexy.

Do you know what helps you feel sexy? Do you know how to remind yourself throughout the day that your sexuality is part of God’s design for you? Read More →

What can you do when your needs are not being met?

In Lost in Translation, I wrote about a typical husband’s desire for his wife to be more passionate. I encouraged you to understand what your husband means and try to fulfill that. I suggested that you help your husband better see what you already are doing toward that end.

The other side to this is equally important—getting our needs met. Although I often write about a husband’s desires and perspective, in no way does that diminish you, your perspective, or your needs. Both spouses matter in marriage.

What can you do when you’re the one with a need that isn’t being met? Read More →

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