The  Power of “And”

Acknowledging your husband’s feelings does not cancel out your feelings, nor does it cancel your right to have those feelings.

When I was in fifth grade, I was part of the playground safety patrol at school. Before school and during recess, I got to wear a white safety patrol belt and stand at the northwest corner of the school and go run to get a teacher if there were any fights or boo-boo’s. I stood at the intersection of the racing lanes, hopscotch, and the monkey bars.

Early in the school year, I was out during kindergarten recess. A little girl was standing, staring at the monkey bars while she decided if she was brave enough to join all the other girls she didn’t know. She was so focused on the monkey bars that she saw and heard nothing else.

Meanwhile, a little boy was running down the racing lane. As he crossed the finish line, he turned around to taunt his friend about having won their race. Continue reading The  Power of “And”

Regret: When Someday Never Comes

Are you waiting for someday to tend to your marriage?

We’ve just about wrapped up the necessary work on the house we’ve lived in for almost 15 years. I recently mowed our old lawn for what was probably the last time.

I’d waited too long to mow, so the grass was long and it took me a while to get the work done. I had plenty of time to reminisce—and regret. Continue reading Regret: When Someday Never Comes

Intimacy Chat for Christian Wives


Are you a Christian wife who wants to work on sexual intimacy in her marriage? Join us as we chat about Getting Comfortable Letting Our Husbands Look.

One thing I really love about women is how we reach out to support and encourage each other. My favorite thing in comments on my blog posts is when women reach out to each other. I have been looking for ways to encourage these even more here.

I am going to try out a new feature at The Forgiven Wife—live chats! Continue reading Intimacy Chat for Christian Wives

Last Year’s Fruit

Do you allow the fruit from seasons past to cloud your appreciation of the growth in your marriage?

My family moved a couple months ago. Although I am sad to be losing the lilacs up at the top of my page (unless my propagation attempt is successful), I have enjoyed watching the crabapple tree in our new back yard.

When we moved in, we had snow on the ground. The tree had no leaves on it, and not even any buds yet. The only thing on the tree was last year’s fruit, which looked old, dead, dried up, and just plain ugly. Last year’s crabapples served as evidence that the tree was alive last year, but when I looked at the tree, all I could see was the dead fruit. (I know that crabapples aren’t the loveliest of fruit, but bear with me here.)

It reminded me of how I saw my marriage five years ago: my marriage had functioned in the past, but when I looked at it, all I could see was the old, dead, dried up, ugliness of what our relationship had become. All I could see was evidence that our marriage once had been alive. Continue reading Last Year’s Fruit

Live Chat?

Are you interested in a live chat related to marriage or sexual intimacy?

So there I was this morning, thinking about how fun it would be to meet some of the women who read The Forgiven Wife. I even thought about trying to have some meet-ups within driving distance of my home.

Then I realized that although it would be a blast for me to meet some readers, it might not do a whole lot in the way of ministry. After all, we ll know it isn’t so easy to talk about sexual intimacy face-to-face with total strangers, right?

As I was pondering the possibility of trying to do some kind of online meet-up, I received a message on my Facebook page:

Do you ever do something like an online chat time with women who have questions?

God’s funny that way, isn’t he?

I’m going to spend some time praying and thinking about whether some kind of live chat options would be a helpful addition to the ministry that happens here.

Meanwhile, I thought I’d ask you all what you think.

I’ve put together a short (only three questions) survey.  Ladies only, please.

Click here to take the survey.



Get Your Sexy On

It’s time to be intentional about claiming your sexuality and your sexual desire.

In theory, I know that God created me to be a sexual being. I know that I experience arousal, desire, and orgasm. I know that some things are more likely than others to lead to an orgasm for me.

In theory, I embrace my sexuality and rejoice in it.

In practical terms, though, I have a lot of work to do. Continue reading Get Your Sexy On

When Many Women Struggle

To all the women I know, whether your heart is full, aching, or a little of both today, I celebrate your heart today and honor you.

It is Mother’s Day in the US, and many women are hurting today. I have good friends whose hearts ache  because they once again face the probability that they will never hold children in their arms, mourn the death of a child they once held, watch a child fade away, face difficulty in parenting, have lost a child to the wildness of sin and temptation,  have lost their own mothers, have to work today instead of enjoying the celebrations portrayed on advertising and in the zillion articles on their Facebook news feed. Continue reading When Many Women Struggle

Are You in the Mood for Sex?

Sink into the deliciousness of sex by redefining what it means to be "in the mood."

“Do you feel like having sex?” he would ask me.

Most times, I would seriously think about it: Do I feel aroused in any way? Is there something else I need or want to be doing instead? Do I feel connected to Big Guy right now? Do I at least not feel disconnected from him? Do I feel like having sex? Continue reading Are You in the Mood for Sex?

A Tale of Sinuses, a Bladder, and Avoidance

 Does the fear of discomfort and embarrassment get in the way of getting help?

This post is going to get a little personal—and not in a sexy way. If reading about stress incontinence would be too traumatic for you, then consider this your warning. Click away if you can’t handle it. No hard feelings. :)

Of course, writing about it may be a little traumatic for me because it’s, well, embarrassing. But that’s kind the whole reason I’m going to talk about it. Continue reading A Tale of Sinuses, a Bladder, and Avoidance

Learning to Dance with Desire

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