Help your husband in his efforts to emotionally connect with you.

My Facebook feed recently had a meme that said, “Physical intimacy isn’t and can never be an effective substitute for emotional intimacy.”

A woman made the comment, “Men just don’t get this!”

I understand that physical and emotional intimacy are not two separate things that are diametrically opposed to each other. I know that physical intimacy can be a pathway to emotional intimacy. I saw the meme as flawed because it assumes something I don’t think is true.

At the same time, however, the meme resonated deeply with me. I completely understood the feeling behind that meme. It is a feeling I still have sometimes. Read More →

Guys, help me out. Why does her orgasm matter to you?
In the comment section of Have You Waited Too Long?, the question arose of why a wife’s orgasm means so much to her husband.

Guys, could you help me out here? I’d like to write a post about this, but I’d like your input so I don’t have to guess.

The survey is exactly one question:

What does it mean to you when your wife has an orgasm during sexual activity with you?

You can find the survey HERE.

Thanks!

What drives his sex drive?

I used to think that for my husband, sex was physical. All he really wanted from it was an orgasm—and all he wanted me for was sex. Because I thought his sex drive was all orgasm-focused, I didn’t understand why he made such a big deal out of it if I didn’t want to have sex. I figured he could just go take care of it himself.

What I wanted most was for him to value me for me, not just for sex. Read More →

You still have time to grow in your marriage.

A little over a month ago, I planted a couple tomato plants. Our tomato cages got lost in our move last year, so I put the tomato plants in the ground and figured I would go get new cages in a couple days. (A tomato cage is metal cage that goes around the tomato plant. It provides support for the tomato as it grows and bears fruit.) And then . . . I didn’t get the cages. I would be out watering my garden and think, Oh, those plants are getting kind of big. I should go get cages. Then I would go inside and the tomato cages would slip my mind. Every time I watered the garden, I would remember that I needed to get tomato cages—but there was no rush, right? Read More →

Are you a multiple-browser-tab woman married to a man with a one-track mind?

Like many men, my husband has a one-track mind.

That isn’t to say that he only thinks about one thing ever. It’s more that he only ever thinks of one thing at a time.

When he is thinking about what he wants to eat, that is what he is thinking about. When he sees an interesting article on his Facebook feed, he reads it right away and then is done. If he is thinking about sex, that is all he is thinking about (and trust me, that definitely has its benefits for me!). When he is on the computer, he has only one browser window open at a time, with only one tab. The same can be said for his mind.
Read More →

How can we grow toward contentment in marriage?

For a little over a year and a half, my life has been full of plenty of stress. It has often seemed non-stop, with one new difficult situation arising before the previous one has even been resolved.

I’ve taken my own advice to tend to my marriage. (See How Does Stress Affect Your Marriage?)  I’m happy to say that I’ve been spending time in God’s Word, extending myself some grace, praying, breathing, and having sex enough that my marriage is strong and healthy. It is one area of my life that has not felt stressed. My marriage has provided a sanctuary of contentment and rest for me. Read More →

Is oral sex a source of tension in your marriage?

Oral sex can be such a source of tension in marriage.

I hear from both women and men in marriages where the husband would like to receive oral sex and the wife doesn’t want to do it.

It often becomes a measuring stick both spouses use to assess how much they are loved by the other. Her constant refusal shows him that her love for him is lacking. She views his frequent requests as a sign that he is more interested in physical pleasure than in her. Read More →

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