A Flat Landscape


I expected marriage to be a wonderfully dramatic landscape. There would be beautiful peaks to conquer and relaxing ocean views. It would look spectacular. It wouldn’t be boring at all. My marriage would be full of wonderful images that would look gorgeous in a photo album.

Indeed, parts of my marriage have been like that, with major events, some beautiful peaks, difficult valleys, coursing rapids, and slow hikes. But if you’ve been married more than a couple months, you know that a lot of marriage isn’t the dramatic as much as it’s the everyday. Marriage happens on a landscape that often consists of a daily or weekly routine. Continue reading

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Its Choicest Fruits


When I posted surveys a couple months ago about women receiving oral sex, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wrote an introductory post about it. Seven hundred survey respondents later, I had a clear indication that my initial thoughts were pretty much on target. Continue reading

Missed Connections


Last week, I realized I’ve been feeling disconnected from my husband. I haven’t been sleeping well due to sinus problems, so I found myself too tired to push for conversations and genuine time together. He had a couple super early appointments and was tired himself. Most of last week, we spent every evening as couch potatoes. Big Guy is a big TV watcher, so he would have the TV on while I sat and knitted pot-holders. (What can I say? It’s an exciting life I lead here. :) ) Continue reading

To Turn Wailing into Dancing

dancing I was struck this morning by these words from Psalm 30:11-12:

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

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Why Sleeping Together Is Awesome

When my twins were pre-teens, they came home from a school field trip one day, completely exhausted. They lay down on the couch, heads at opposite ends, and fell asleep. I watched in fascination over the course of the next couple hours. One of them would roll over or move a limb in some way—and the other one, still sound asleep, would adjust in response. My boy-girl twins, about as different as twins can be, held within their bodies a memory of how to adjust to the other one. Their shared months in utero laid down a pattern of how to be together and adapt. Their movements echoed the life and spaced they had shared so intimately all those years ago. They were two individuals, operating in concert with each other. Continue reading



Among the many things I wondered about during much of my marriage is whether I’ve been beautiful. Although I didn’t love the way I looked early in our marriage, I knew I looked good enough and sexy enough. Continue reading

Time for a New Style


Years ago, I worked with a woman whose hair flowed down to her waist. The hair was about 50% gray, but she said her long hair was just part of who she was. She scoffed at any suggestion to cut or color. Continue reading

One Year


A year ago, I published my first post on this blog, wondering if anyone would ever find me, read what I wrote, or find any of it useful. Starting this blog was an act of obedience to God, along with the transparency I try to have about my journey. Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I’d make it three months—but here I am, one year later, still posting. Continue reading

The Deep Stuff


My husband and I have made amazing strides in approaching the intimacy in our marriage. I have worked very hard and intentionally and have seen significant growth—but I am still on a journey like many other women. My path is rocky in places. There are times I walk around a bend and find something unexpected or confusing. Sometimes I wander in circles and end up back where I was before. Continue reading

Crying Over Milk Toast


Ever since I’ve known my husband, he’s talked about his grandma’s milk toast. It’s an egg poached in milk, served in a bowl over toast with the poaching milk poured over it.

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