We shouldn't dwell on the past, but we can learn from it to help us move forward.

I have spent much of my life thinking about the past, which isn’t always a good thing.

I’ve dragged heavy baggage around with me. I defined myself by my actions and experiences in the distant past. I judged my husband based on long-ago memories. Read More →

Are you afraid your past sin has put God’s love off limits?

Although plenty of us carry around emotional and sexual baggage, some of us have baggage that is especially heavy.

Sometimes our own sins are so big that they weigh us down. Read More →

If you struggle with sexual sin from your single days, know that you are not alone—and that there is hope.

I am delighted to have a guest post at Intimacy in Marriage this week as part of Julie’s What is Destroying Sex in Your Marriage? series.

Premarital sexual baggage weighed me down for a long time. I dragged it to my marriage bed, opened up the luggage, and unpacked that baggage so it was covering the whole bed and didn’t leave much space for our marriage.

It is lovely to feel free of the guilt and shame I carried with me for so long.

If you struggle with sexual sin from your single days, know that you are not alone—and that there is hope. Read More →

Are you ready to free yourself of your emotional clutter?

We are getting ready to move, and it’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed. We’ve lived in this house for fourteen years, and I find it really hard to get rid of things. I have way too much stuff—some of it stuff I’m sentimentally attached to and other things that I hang onto “just in case.”

Although I’ve gone through bits and pieces of piles and boxes, I haven’t done been consistent about it (despite the good intentions I had when I wrote this post). I’m not a hoarder—but I can definitely understand how the hoarding habit develops. I do try to keep things contained, but when you have too much stuff, it seems to ooze out. Read More →

 

What did your childhood teach you about men?

During our difficult years, there were times when our marriage felt like a war. Sometimes there were loud battles that would last for days. At times, we would retreat to our foxholes to rest and wait for the next round. If I’d been asked, “Who is your enemy?” I would have answered, “My husband is.” It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t my husband who was my enemy; the Enemy is my enemy. Read More →

Is your marriage bed cluttered with your baggage?

When I first began flying on work-related trips, I refused to check my bags. I had my really important stuff in a shoulder bag, but I insisted on carrying my luggage with me all the time. So there I would be, running from one concourse to another, dragging a suitcase with me. When I had to use the airport bathroom, the suitcase would come with me while I maneuvered it around the door of the bathroom stall. It was constantly with me.

Why? I was afraid to let it go. I didn’t want to let go of my stuff. I was afraid it would get lost or damaged, or maybe it wouldn’t be there when I really needed it. So instead of checking my luggage, I dragged it around with me, all through the airport. Every time I boarded a new plane, there I was, standing in everyone’s way while I try to squash my carry-on into the overhead compartment. After dragging my stuff all through the airport, taking it with me even into the bathroom, and going into contortions on the plane while stalling everyone else, I was too bedraggled to actually enjoy the trip. I was too worn out. Read More →