My name is Chris, and I’m glad you’re here.

My husband Doug and I have been married 24 years. We live in southeastern Wisconsin and have three adult kids who are various stages of leaving the nest. I thrive on coffee, knitting, and chocolate; the order of importance varies, depending on the day. I love to read and write; I dislike housework.

In this blog, I invite you to go deeper than all that, though. I have a story–just like you do. My story is a journey of healing–of my heart, of my marriage, and of my relationship with God.

This blog is an invitation to walk with me for a bit on this journey and allow me to walk alongside you on yours.

For most of my marriage, I was so busy loving my kids, my colleagues, the oppressed, and myself that I forgot to be loving my husband.

After 20+ years of stubbornness, selfishness, sexual gatekeeping, and discontent, I started to change how I behaved toward my husband. After action came feeling. After all the years of being a poster child for how not to be a wife, I’ve reached a deeper level of intimacy with my husband, emotionally and physically. In refusing my husband sexually, I was denying him my love.

Maybe you’re a wife who’s like I was. Maybe you know that you want to change and just don’t know how. Maybe you  know something isn’t working and have no idea what to do. Maybe you’re being told that you’re sinning and are panicking because you need to make a heart change. This blog is for you.

I crawled out of the pit of sexual refusal and control and am learning to dance with desire. As I reformed my wifely self, I faced hard truths. I hurt my husband deeply. But now I am the Forgiven Wife. If you are a wife whose husband is sexually unhappy, let me walk with you for a while. I promise no yelling  (well, sometimes, I may have a firm voice)–just understanding and sharing and some virtual chocolate from time to time.

If you’d like to learn more about the beginning of my journey toward a sexually healed marriage, you can read here  and here.

Our stories and journeys may not be the same, but we can still encourage each other as we try to grow in our marriages and our faith.

Welcome to the journey of forgiveness.


5 Thoughts on “About

  1. Jim Van Handel on April 14, 2013 at 4:55 pm said:

    I enjoyed reading your blog and story and look forward to more.
    Jim VH

  2. adejoke akinleye on April 16, 2013 at 7:15 am said:

    Great encouragement,I am also a work in progress

  3. Pingback: To Drink Of Spiced Wine | Something to Stu (stew) Over

  4. Kevin Pulver on May 30, 2015 at 11:49 pm said:

    God bless you Chris. My darling wife may be a bit like you, but after 23 years she’s better than ever, and I will never get over her saying I do and becoming my wife. god has truly done an amazing work in her heart and in our marriage.I appreciate your testimony here. Thank you, Kevin

Leave a Reply