How can you restore connection in your marriage?

For many years in my marriage, I felt disconnected from my husband.

For him, connection happened primarily through sex and also from us just being in each other’s presence. We could be watching a TV show together and not speaking at all, and he would still feel like we’d had a good connection.

For me to feel connected, I needed us to have conversations about meaningful things (not just the “business” of the family). I needed real face time. Conversation that happened during commercial breaks or when he was interested in sex didn’t do it for me. Read More →

We shouldn't dwell on the past, but we can learn from it to help us move forward.

I have spent much of my life thinking about the past, which isn’t always a good thing.

I’ve dragged heavy baggage around with me. I defined myself by my actions and experiences in the distant past. I judged my husband based on long-ago memories. Read More →

Blog posts to help you grow in your marriage

It’s the first Sunday of the month, so it is time for a Loveliness of Links!

A loveliness of ladybugs can help cultivate a healthy garden, and a loveliness of blog posts can help you cultivate a healthy and intimate marriage.

Enjoy these great posts from April! Read More →

Friends, Partners & Lovers, by Kevin A. Thompson

One of my favorite bloggers to read is Kevin A. Thompson. His writing is grounded in biblical truth and practical wisdom, seasoned with a sense of humor that sometimes reminds me of Dave Barry.

I’ve shared many of his blog posts through social media as well as here on my blog. Today I’m delighted to share his newest resource—his new book, Friends, Partners & Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work (affiliate link). Read More →

How can you move from insecurity to authenticity in your marriage?

 

When you are full of insecurity and have low self-esteem, it isn’t easy to do what is necessary to have a healthy, functional marriage.

Vulnerability is incredibly difficult. It means that you are letting someone see into your feelings of insecurity and into your belief that you aren’t valuable or lovable. It is like inviting someone into the place where you are least protected and handing them the most damaging weapon. Read More →

How can we pray for your husband?

Big Guy has had a difficult few months, with several challenging situations blasting into him, one thing after another with hardly a chance in between to breathe.

Although I do what I can to support and encourage him in practical ways, I know that he is the one who must do the heavy lifting in dealing with the challenges in front of him. Read More →

A post for the guys who comment here.

Now for something completely different . . .

Today I’d like to write to the men who read this blog.

Guys, I know there are a lot of you who read here. Many of you, sadly, are in marriages lacking in intimacy.

Read More →

Remember whose daughter you are.

A meme has been going around Facebook that has stuck in my mind:

“Whenever you feel overwhelmed, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown.”*

We, my friends, are daughters of the King. He created us to experience pleasure. He created us to experience joy. He created us to experience connection and unity with our husbands through sexual intimacy.

Yet sometimes we believe that we won’t—or can’t—ever enjoy sex with our husbands. Read More →

If you’ve ever wondered why your husband makes such a big deal out of your orgasm, you aren’t alone.

In fact, sometimes it may seem like he enjoys your orgasm even more than you do!

Last summer I asked husbands to complete a survey that consisted of one question:

What does it mean to you when your wife has an orgasm during sexual activity with you?

Fewer than 200 men responded to the survey, so this was a small sample size. It certainly wasn’t a scientific study. Still, what the men had to say is consistent with other comments I’d read and heard from husbands about their wives’ sexual pleasure. The responses didn’t surprise me. Read More →

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