3 Rules to Decrease Tension in the Bedroom

“In your anger do not sin”:
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27

Our bedroom was anything but a sanctuary.

During the years when sex was a source of tension in our marriage, our bedroom was a place of conflict. Read More →

Has your husband responded negatively to your efforts to work on sex?

For a full year after I began working on sex, the effort was hard and largely thankless. For six months, my husband didn’t really believe that my change was real. He thought it was a fluke. He was grateful for the change, but he didn’t even acknowledge what was happening.

For the second six months, he was a little angry and tested me. He had an attitude of, “If you were able to do this all along, why didn’t you do it earlier? Why did I have to suffer for so long?”

Because I had developed a heart of compassion for him and felt bad for how much I’d hurt him, I was willing to cling to God and persist throughout that year. Read More →

Ask others to pray for you to move forward in your marriage.

I want to begin by sharing with you something that has absolutely nothing to do with marriage. I’ll get around to talking about marriage at the end, though. I promise.

Read More →

Links to posts from June 2017

It’s time for a Loveliness of Links from June!

  1. 10 Ways a Wife Can Influence the Heart of Her Husband , Jolene Engle
  2. 12 Ways to Help Christian Men Overcome Lust, To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  3. 3 Ways to Like Sex (When You Hate Your Body), Intimacy in Marriage
  4. 4 Marriage Myths Every Wife Should Know, Intentional Today
  5. 4 Powerful Ways to Help Your Husband Feel Amazing, Shaunti Feldhahn
  6. 5 Signs That Your Job Might Be Hurting Your Marriage, Ashley Willis
  7. 6 Simple Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy Your Life this Summer, Calm.Healthy.Sexy
  8. Apologize Lately? The Generous Wife
  9. Are Daddy Issues Hurting Your Marriage? To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  10. Are You (Too) Content with “Better Than It Used to Be”? Hot, Holy & Humorous
  11. Failure and the Learning Process, The Generous Wife
  12. God Can Transform You and Your Marriage, Awaken-Love
  13. God Created Sex for Wives as Much as Husbands, Awaken-Love
  14. Honesty Hour: Getting Used to “Gettin’ It On…” My Beloved
  15. How Can We Talk about Men’s Sexual Needs in a Healthy Way? To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  16. How to Be a Burning Bush: Suffering Well, Manna for Marriage
  17. How to Respect an Imperfect Husband, Shaunti Feldhahn
  18. How to Stop Feeling Grossed Out by Oral Pleasure, Love Hope Adventure
  19. Lesson Learned, The Romantic Vineyard
  20. Let’s Go On A Date! | Date Night Ideas That Aren’t Lame, My Beloved.
  21. Making Choices – Plan A – Plan B and more! Encourage Your Spouse
  22. Men are Visual: But Does That Mean That All Men Lust? To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  23. Quieting the Mind, Awaken-Love
  24. Receiving Kind Words, The Generous Wife
  25. This One Sneaky Trap Will Kill Your Marriage, Shaunti Feldhahn
  26. What I Appreciate About You, The Generous Wife
  27. Why “Don’t Be a Stumbling Block” is A Really Bad Modesty Message, To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  28. Why Every Man’s Battle Backfires: We Should Expect Men Not to Lust, To Love, Honor & Vacuum
  29. When You’re Putting Forth All the Effort in the Marriage , Jolene Engle
  30. One Thing Your Marriage Desperately Needs, Transformed Wife
  31. What Makes Sex Intimate? Try Affection. Hot, Holy & Humorous

Ladies, if you know of other posts that can encourage women in their marriages, feel free to share them in the comments!

How can i initiate when i don’t even want sex?

It can be frustrating to read articles and blog posts about sex sometimes.

Well-meaning writers give you all sorts of great suggestions for how to improve your sex life. The suggestions all sound good except for one important thing.

If you’re a woman who hardly ever wants sex, reading an article about improving your sex life is like reading about how to milk a cow when you’ve never even stepped foot on a farm.

It’s all nice in theory, but it just doesn’t seem to apply. Read More →

Emotion and relationship are at the heart of your husband’s sexual desire.

When we think of men talking about sex, the notion of locker room talk typically comes to mind: sexual details, guffaws, high fives, and the like.

At a retreat last month, I had the privilege of listening to five men—real and decent marriage-minded Christian husbands—talk about sex.

There were no crude comments. There were no high-fiving or waggling eyebrows or “I got me some of that” happening—and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because I was present.

When these five men talked about sex, they spoke of two things: emotion and relationship. Read More →

Believe and expect the best of your husband. Lust is not inevitable.

Could I just encourage you all to go read Sheila’s posts on men and lust this week on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum?

She takes an in-depth look at the idea that men are visually stimulated, that this visual stimulation leads to lust, and that all men continue to struggle with this. She also looks at how the modesty message in some churches relates to the messages about lust. Read More →

Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?

This is my adorable grandpuppy.

I am not a dog whisperer.

As a small child, I was jumped on by a dog that either scratched or bit me. I don’t remember the experience itself—but I do know that was when I began to feel terrified of dogs.

After that, I avoided dogs. Other children would greet a dog and want to pet and kiss it; I tried to hide behind an adult and figure out an escape route. Thoughts and fears about the dog attacking me would sometimes stay with me for several days. Read More →

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