It begins. The whirlwind of holiday activities is around us—and so is the stress.
If you have begun working to change your sex life, stress can cause a pretty big hiccup.
Being intentional about your attitude, your “yes,” and your sexuality can require every bit of courage and strength you have anyway. With extra activities, cooking, hospitality, decorating, shopping, and even watching all those Christmas movies that you watch every year, it’s hard to have any of that courage and strength left for more personal pursuits.
For a husband who has gone for a lot of years without being able to count on holiday sex (you know, sex to celebrate special occasions), watching you begin your annual seasonal stress-out can be stressful for him, too. He might worry that things are going to go back to the way they used to be. It’s extra important to show him that you mean business when it comes to all this changing you’re doing.
Reducing your stress is a great idea if you can do it—but if you can’t, you can let some of those extra things work for you rather than against you.
Here are some ideas:
- Decorate your bedroom with Christmas lights. If you’ve been a “sex is in the dark” kind of woman, this is a gentle way to ease yourself into the light.
- Watch a fun Christmas movie and kiss every time someone says “Merry Christmas,” “Santa,” or “shopping.” Yes, this means to kiss even if you’re watching a movie with the kids or your parents.
- Drink egg nog together—one glass, two straws.
- Get some Santa or elf lingerie.
- Wear Christmas socks—and nothing else. Your feet will be warm—and so will your husband!
- When you return from shopping, tell the kids you need to go into your bedroom to wrap presents—and then “wrap presents” instead.
- Get sexy Christmas cards for each other. Write something about what you plan to give each other sexually for Christmas.
- Kiss your way through the advent calendar. Each day, set the timer and kiss for the same number of minutes as the date. (So on December 18, that’s eighteen minutes of kissing!)
- Have sex in front of the Christmas tree.
- Make (or buy) extra frosting for those Christmas cookies. Then use it in the bedroom to invite nibbling. If you are trying to get comfortable with oral sex, this might be a fun way to step outside your comfort zone.
- Bow-dazzle yourself! Buy a couple bags of bows and decorate yourself with them before bedtime. Or, if you use ribbon instead of bows, you can use the ribbon to try out some tying up if it’s something you’ve been thinking about trying.
Do you have other ideas about how you can use seasonal items to keep your sex life hot during the Christmas season?
Image credit | monicore at pixabay.com
Wow, you creative types always amaze me. . 🙂
Here’s my lame attempt at creativity. A new position for each of the 12 days of Christmas?
If it involves sex, many husbands won’t even think about whether it’s a lame idea or not. They’ll just be thinking, “Mmmm, sex.”
Not at all lame Sandi. Trying the different positions is a good way to spice things up, but the real beneficial aspect may just be having 12 days of consecutive sex; i.e. intimacy, physical closeness and emotional closeness. 12 days of attention given to the marriage relationship could be a very positive thing.
My husband seemed to like the idea as well. In the mean time, I love the Christmas lights idea.
Not lame at all! Love it!!
Thank you. We’ve done a little practicing so we, should have it all figured out in time for Christmas, LOL
I just linked to this post here.
Thanks for linking to the post. Enjoy the elf lingerie!
So fun! Great ideas – thanks for sharing!
Wow!! Thank you for sharing all of the ideas. Love all the ideas and since he likes all the advent calendar ideas, then I like it too! 🙂 I get and understand about worrying about things going back to the way they were before but since he knows how to calm me (or if a spouse knows how to calm the other down) then what’s there to worry about?! I like how you stated let it work for you rather than against you. In general, that’s what sex with your spouse should be about to work for each other, not against each other and channel the stress energy into that. 🙂 I really love the Bow-Dazzle yourself idea! Sounds cute!!
When a wife has controlled and withheld sex as much as I have, things like the ideas here show initiative and commitment to a healthy sex life. We haven’t tried all the ideas on the list yet, but the ones we’ve done so far have been a big hit. 🙂