How can you restore connection in your marriage?

For many years in my marriage, I felt disconnected from my husband.

For him, connection happened primarily through sex and also from us just being in each other’s presence. We could be watching a TV show together and not speaking at all, and he would still feel like we’d had a good connection.

For me to feel connected, I needed us to have conversations about meaningful things (not just the “business” of the family). I needed real face time. Conversation that happened during commercial breaks or when he was interested in sex didn’t do it for me. Read More →

We shouldn't dwell on the past, but we can learn from it to help us move forward.

I have spent much of my life thinking about the past, which isn’t always a good thing.

I’ve dragged heavy baggage around with me. I defined myself by my actions and experiences in the distant past. I judged my husband based on long-ago memories. Read More →

Remember whose daughter you are.

A meme has been going around Facebook that has stuck in my mind:

“Whenever you feel overwhelmed, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown.”*

We, my friends, are daughters of the King. He created us to experience pleasure. He created us to experience joy. He created us to experience connection and unity with our husbands through sexual intimacy.

Yet sometimes we believe that we won’t—or can’t—ever enjoy sex with our husbands. Read More →

What becomes possible when you work on sex?

When wives begin the journey to change their approach to sex, they often see a tall mountain, seemingly unscalable.

The journey itself looks intimidating. How do you start? What does it actually mean to “work on sex”? How do you go about changing from “the way things have been” into . . . what, exactly? Is there a chance that any of this will ever make a difference?

I’d like to give you a small glimpse into what might be waiting for you when you travel this journey. Read More →

10 Questions for a Husband Who Doesn’t Like Questions

Paul at The Generous Husband recently wrote a post of questions a couple can ask each other—and he challenged other marriage bloggers to come with their own list of questions.

I love the idea of asking Big Guy questions that could develop into interesting conversations. Read More →

How can you respond if your husband reacts negatively when you say no to sex?

Big Guy would approach me for sex. My response was usually some variation of no—rolling my eyes, listing all the things I need to get done first, or just saying the word “no.”

Quite often, after my negative response I would start to think about the possibility of sex. I wonder why I don’t think about sex like he does? I like sex well enough once we’re doing it. Hmm. I suppose that if I could just wrap up this stuff I’m working on, I might be able to do it. I just need some transition time. If he would come ask me again right this minute, I might be able to manage a yes. Where is he, anyway? For a guy who seems to want sex so much, shouldn’t he be here with me, spending time with me and helping me?
Read More →

Practical Ways to Enjoy Plus-Size Sexual Intimacy

The biggest hurdle plus-size women face in the marriage bed isn’t our bodies . It is our feelings about our weight and size.

In my previous post, I reminded you that  you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s gift of sexual intimacy in marriage is for you just as it is for other women.

It is possible to enjoy a thriving marriage bed as a plus-size woman.

God designed us to enjoy sexual intimacy in the marriage bed—but that doesn’t mean it is always going to be a bed of roses.

Read More →

Don't fear transformation in your marriage.

A caterpillar has its own charm, but God’s desire is for that caterpillar to experience a transformation and become a butterfly.

I doubt that the caterpillar knows to expect a transformation, but it does know to do the task it faces: spin the cocoon that allows the transformation to occur.

It emerges, with a brand new beauty and wings to fly.

I’ve been thinking about butterflies this week. Butterflies and death.

Read More →

Preparing for Launch!

I am so excited!

The new podcast I’m doing with the women behind Bonny’s Oysterbed 7, Calm.Healthy.Sexy., and Hot, Holy & Humorous launches on February 14.

That’s Valentine’s Day, folks—and it’s one week from today!

I expect it will take us a few episodes to hit our stride, but we are so ready for you to join us around the virtual table for a woman-to-woman chat about sexual intimacy in marriage.

We’ve recorded episodes on getting in the mood, stress, positions, exercise and sex, female sexual response, and more—and we have an awesome list of topics for future episodes.

If you’d like to be notified when new episodes go live, you can subscribe at sexchatforchristianwives.com. Also, follow our social media accounts:

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Instagram

If you have a question or would like to suggest a topic for a future episode, go to our website, click on Have a Question?, and ask us questions you’d like to hear us discuss.

I’d like to ask for continuing prayers as we prepare for our launch.

We are so excited that we have a little preview for you. Click here to listen to our first episode, Getting in the Mood.

Enjoy!

You can conquer the learning curve!

I’ve been busy preparing for our podcast launch.

Much of the work has come naturally and is more fun than it is work: social media planning and posting, brainstorming ideas for podcast episodes, writing program notes, and having and recording our conversations about sexual intimacy in Christian marriages.

One thing, however, has been a challenge for me: sound editing. I came to this with absolutely no experience working with sound. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Read More →

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