This awesome new resource can help you talk with your daughter about sex, puberty, and growing up.

For nearly two decades of my marriage, I wasn’t a very good wife. I maintained emotional walls between Big Guy and me. I resisted sex. I treated him disrespectfully. I refused to trust him with my heart or my body.

I carry many regrets from those years, many of which include what I was teaching our kids about marriage. My sons were learning that marriage was not a happy state for a man, and my daughter was learning that it is okay to, well, be a shrew. Read More →

A plus-size woman can enjoy sexual intimacy.

Being a plus-size woman brings challenges in many areas of life—including the area of sexual intimacy.

I know first-hand how painful this subject can be.  I was a thin and active child, but when I was a young adult I began to put on weight. I am now quite overweight. Fortunately, Big Guy adores my curves and always has.  Yes, I want to be healthier. I would like to be thinner. For the most part, though, I’ve come to terms with my weight. This is who I am and how I look. This is the body I have right now, and it’s the one with which I live my life.

Still, writing this post is a struggle.  I’ve never had any problem sharing about the sexual intimacy in my marriage here. This feels different. Harder. More vulnerable. Nakeder. (I totally made that word up. It works.) I was not prepared how difficult this post would be to write.

I’m not going to lecture anyone about health here. We all know we need to be healthier.

I’d like to be honest about the unique sexual challenges we plus-size women face. In this post I’m going to talk specifically about body image and our feelings about our weight. I have a follow-up post that will address some physical realities of plus-size intimacy.

Read More →

Prepare for the holidays in a way that helps the intimacy in your marriage be nurtured rather than blown away.

As I write this, I am sitting under a winter storm warning.

People around here are doing what they do when a big snow is on the way. They’re making sure their snow blowers are gassed up and their sidewalk salt is ready to go. Their digging out the winter hats and gloves. They’re gathering the last of the garden harvest. And yes, they’re going to the store for bread and milk. Read More →

18 ways to spice up your sex life!

Are you stuck in a pattern of “the usual” when it comes to your sex life? Maybe it’s time to spice things up a bit.

This weekend, be the one to kick things up just a little. It doesn’t have to be a big step, but I want to challenge you to think of a way to sexually bless your husband that is not on your list of usual things. Read More →


Update: A second chat for this same topic has been added for Saturday, August 1, at 11 am US central time. Use the contact form on this page to sign up!  

How can you take an item on your sexual to-do list and break it into small steps?

When it comes to working on sexual intimacy in marriage, I’m a big advocate for breaking things into baby steps.

Instead of facing a huge mountain that you don’t know how to climb, you face something that might be a stretch but is within reach.

Taking small steps instead of giant leaps can help you build confidence and not feel so overwhelmed.

But how do you take a huge thing and break it down?

Our next Intimacy Chat for Wives is going to be all about baby steps. Read More →

Bless your husband with your desire for him.

Has your husband ever said he would like you to initiate sex more?

Mine has. It used to be that when he would say that, I would tell him that since he was the one who wanted sex so much, he needed to initiate it. It made absolutely no sense to me that I would initiate something I didn’t even want to do.

The closest I ever came to initiating sex in those days was to say, “I suppose you want to have sex, so let’s get it over with.” Read More →

It’s time to be intentional about claiming your sexuality and your sexual desire.

In theory, I know that God created me to be a sexual being. I know that I experience arousal, desire, and orgasm. I know that some things are more likely than others to lead to an orgasm for me.

In theory, I embrace my sexuality and rejoice in it.

In practical terms, though, I have a lot of work to do. Read More →

How can you maintain sexual intimacy when you're dealing with pain?

Sexual intimacy doesn’t just serve to provide us with orgasms in our marriage. It also helps us to feel united as a couple. It builds our overall intimacy. It helps to bond us. This can especially be the case for many men as they experience the rush of the bonding hormone oxytocin that occurs at orgasm.

When our marriages are deprived of sexual intimacy, our marriages can hurt–even when that deprivation comes out of necessity due to a medical condition. Read More →

Show your husband that you love him sexually.

For a lot of guys, romance equals sex.  For this Valentine’s Day, show your husband that you love him sexually and do something you know he will enjoy. Read More →


I’ve written several posts now for women who aren’t comfortable receiving oral sex. These posts have explored some of the common reasons women give for their discomfort with oral sex, our self-consciousness about the smell and taste, and what our husbands have to say about all this. (You can find links to the posts at the bottom of this article.)

Lots of husbands love giving their wives oral sex. Plenty of women enjoy receiving it—but what if you’re one of the ones who doesn’t? What do you do? What are some things you can do to get more comfortable with the idea and experience of being orally blessed by your husband? Read More →

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