In the difficult times in my life, my greatest accomplishment has seemed to be this: I survived. In fact, I sometimes think that would be a great epitaph for my gravestone, event though the gravestone would obviously contradict the words.

As I reflect on 2016 in terms of blogging, I would have to say the same thing: I survived. The blog is still here. Read More →

Can a video game show us anything about how we grow in our marriages? The answer turns out to be yes!


I was playing a video game the other day, and I realized that my avatar’s energy level was getting low. Instead of forging ahead into the next quest, I moved slowly, avoiding dangers that might completely deplete me. I continued on my journey and took care of the absolutely essential things, but I was slow and careful so I could rebuild my strength. When I was back up to full strength, I was ready for next quest.

That has been happening in my real life lately, too. Read More →

Be the salt and light in a world of flavorless and negative views of married sexuality.

Dear friends,

A few years ago, I asked for your help in sending me to a conference, and you came through in a way that still humbles me. Now I am asking for your support on an on-going basis to help me encourage women in their marriages. I am also asking you to become an encourager yourself.

Marriage matters, and sexual intimacy matters to marriage.My own life has shown that all too well. Read More →

How sweet are the perfectly ordinary moments in your marriage?

My daughter took a sweet picture of Big Guy and me this week.

Every day, my husband calls me when he is on his way home from work so we can catch each other up on our days. When he comes home, I stop what I am doing and welcome him home with a kiss and a long hug. Read More →

Happy 25th anniversary to Big Guy and me!

Today we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, and I find myself a bit gobsmacked.

Just a few years ago, we had grown apart to a point where I was pretty sure we would have divorced by now. Read More →

It's my blog-versary!

Today is my blog-versary. It began three years ago with The Pit of Refusal.  When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure I’d even make it past three months, so making it to the ripe old age of 3 feels like quite an accomplishment! Read More →

Where I live, tree roots spend the winter in a state of dormancy. They are resting, not actively growing. Still, they are ever-ready to resume their growth and absorb water when the ground temperature rises above freezing. Essential processes will recommence when the season is right.

Looking out my living room window right now, I see trees that are bare. The winter cold and the shortened days stripped them of the leaves that make them look so alive in the spring and summer. I know, however, that stretched beneath the ground, where I cannot see, are roots that continue to hold the tree steady. Sufficient water (and maybe a good layer of mulch) during the rest of the year have prepared these trees to withstand a Wisconsin winter and then flourish again in the spring. Read More →

Are you and your husband a comfort to each other?

“I need you,” he said, holding me for a good long while so I could do the crying I needed to. “I need you.” He walked me to the bedroom. “I need you, too,” I whispered, although I don’t know if he heard me.

I need you. Read More →

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve is upon us.

I’ve been taking a bit of a break from blogging as I tend to various responsibilities in my life. I wanted to take a break from my break to wish you a joyful Christmas. I pray for you all to find time to connect with your husbands and create Christmas memories. Read More →

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