I’m somewhat fascinated by blog statistics. They give me so much more than numbers. I learn about who reads here and why. The stats tell me how people get here and when they read.
Despite the fact that I have always considered my audience to be women, for most of the first two years of this blog, most of my readers were men—not by much, but by enough that it registered on the stats. Most of the search terms that brought readers here were variations of “wife won’t have sex,” “husband’s sex drive hurting Christian marriage,” and “why won’t my wife have sex with me.”
Early this year, I made some mostly subtle changes in the tone and focus of this blog (described here). I started working intentionally to more gently to reach out to women at the very beginning of a journey to embrace sexual intimacy in their marriages. This meant that I removed my most-read post because it was just past the edge of spicy hot. It addressed a subject that is the object of quite a few internet searches, so I expected to see a drop in the number of page views with that post gone. Instead, I saw a spike in numbers for a while. And after a few weeks, the stats showed that I had a slightly higher percentage of women reading than men. That was confirmation to me that I was on the right track.
I am intrigued by what I continue to see in the stats. The percentage of women reading continues to rise, which does my heart good. I am also seeing a change in the kinds of search terms. Instead of mostly men seeking support in dealing with a wife’s resistance to sex, I am seeing primarily search terms that wives use: “husband upset because I won’t have sex,” “why is sex so important to my husband,” and “is it okay to say no to sex with my husband.”
The numbers, the search terms, comments, and emails make it clear that many women need support and encouragement as they try to grow in a marriage where sexual intimacy has been a challenge.
Still, I do pay attention to the numbers in the stats as well. Several weeks ago, the stats showed that I was coming up on a milestone of total page views, and late last night I hit it: one million. I know that’s just a drop in the bucket when compared to many blogs, and one million page views is not the same as one million unique readers (and I have no idea how to find that out). Nonetheless, I am somewhat stunned. I’ve watched the number creeping higher and higher over the past week, and now that it’s happened, I still don’t quite believe it.
It’s a pretty exciting number—especially considering the fact that when I started writing here I didn’t imagine I would ever get to 10,000. It is easy to get caught up in the numbers. It’s tempting to focus on more blog traffic, search engine optimization, pinnable images, and the like.
It’s all about you
As exciting as this big number is for me to see on my stats page, it isn’t the one million page views that truly matter. It is the one reader—you.
From the day I began this blog, I have had a clear sense that each blog post needs to be written for one woman. With nearly every post I write, I imagine that I am writing to one woman. Sometimes it is for a specific woman I know about, and other times it is a vague nameless Christian sister.
As excited as I am to think about exciting milestone numbers, it is the same way I feel when someone new leaves a comment. It’s the same way I felt the first day when I had 14 views and the way I felt with the first blog follower. It isn’t the one million that matters, it’s the one. It’s you.
You, reading this right now, are one in a million.
I invite you to share with me what you need in the way of support for growth in your marriage. Click on this link to share your ideas about how The Forgiven Wife can continue to grow and meet your needs.
Growth in marriage matters far more than growth in numbers.
You are one in a million. What do you need to continue growing in your marriage?