The Unbroken Woman blog is hosting The Respect Dare. Starting July 10, participants will be using Nina Roesner’s The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband as a guide, posting about their journey. And I will be doing it with you!
Here was today’s assignment:
“Today, pray and ask for wisdom in understanding a key experience that has impacted the way you currently walk through marriage . After praying , wait for an incident to come to mind and work with it to answer the questions.”
I didn’t even get all the way through the instructions when an incident came into my mind. My heart hurts with this one. I will not say what the incident is out of respect for relatives who I love and who still live. It is a painful memory–one that is seared into my my mind forever and that shaped all important decisions in my life.
I will share the answers to a couple of the questions from my journal, however.
3. What was revealed to you about how you interact in marriage as a result of this incident?
I resist any hint of my husband controlling me. And I feel anxiety when he yells.’
4. What possible interpretations exist of that one event?
- Yelling hurts.
- Men hurt.
- Women who don’t stand up for themselves get hurt.
- Women need choices and options in life.
- Anger and hitting happen for no predictable or discernable reason.
- Mothers and children are on one side, and fathers are on the other.
Write out a prayer of release from any unhealthy habits of thinking you’ve developed as a result of that incident.
God, help me remember that my husband is not [relative’s name]. Please help me understand that his yelling is akin to me crying when I’m emotional; it is not a precursor to violence. God, help me remember that you are not [relative’s name], either.
That one hurt. A lot. This is Dare 2, and my heart feels like it has been shredded. How can I possibly survive 38 more of these? Help me, God. I can’t do this without you. I just can’t.