Are you ready to step outside your comfort zone? For the next few Fridays, I’ll be writing about our sexual comfort zones. How do we get unstuck? And what happens when take a step outside?

There is nothing wrong with having a routine that works, even in the bedroom. Maybe you and your husband have a usual—you kiss, he touches your breasts, you touch his penis, he gives you oral, and then you do missionary. Comfort zone sex is like comfort food. It isn’t spectacular, but it fills a need in body and soul. Comfort zone sex does the same thing.

My favorite comfort food is macaroni and cheese. I’d like to be able to claim it was a specific recipe that only my mom could make or something, but it’s the boxed kind with the fake cheese in a pouch. When I’m having a rough day, that’s what I really want (preferably with Pringles). It’s predictable and I love it.

When I eat at a restaurant, I tend to order dishes I would never cook at home—so naturally, it would never occur to me to order macaroni and cheese. How good can mac and cheese be, anyway? I love my boxed stuff, so it never occurred to me to think of ordering it out.

But there’s a pub near my campus that I go to for lunch sometimes. I used to order a burger and fries—but a couple of my co-workers raved about the macaroni and cheese and ordered it every single time. When their orders would arrive, my co-workers looked like they were in food heaven. I admitted to myself that the macaroni and cheese did indeed look good and creamy, although I couldn’t understand these women’s passion for it. Finally, I was curious enough to try it myself.

Oh. My. Goodness.

It is the best macaroni and cheese I’ve ever had in my life. It is creamy with a perfect blend of several upscale cheeses, topped with toasted bread crumbs. Ooh, la la. I’d had no idea what I’d been missing. It wasn’t anything like my boxed version. It was my comfort food, only an oh-so-much better version of the stuff I love.

I still love my boxed stuff at home, but when I have a chance, I order the pub’s macaroni and cheese (with sweet potato fries rather than Pringles). If I hadn’t been willing to step outside my usual comfort food comfort zone to order this version, I wouldn’t have had the experience of eating this wonderful dish. I could have gone my whole life without it and never missed it—but I am so glad I have this experience to look forward to every now and then.

Macaroni and cheese is still my comfort food—but that doesn’t mean it has to be exactly the same every time. I had no idea how much better my comfort food could be.

So maybe you have a comfort zone sex routine—kiss, breasts, penis, oral, missionary. Could you take this same routine comfort zone sex and change it up sometimes to make it an even better version of the same thing? How would this same routine be at a different time of day? In a different room? With different lighting? Pretending that your husband is a swashbuckler and you are his wench? With a vibrator? With two of the steps switched around? Faster? Slower? Upside down?

Stepping outside your sexual comfort zone doesn’t have to be a giant step. You can start by just putting your toe outside the zone. Keep your comfort zone sex, but just shake it up a bit.

Ooh, la la.


Messy Marriage

13 Thoughts on “The Macaroni and Cheese Lesson: Stepping Your Toes Outside Your Comfort Zone

  1. So do you put the Pringle’s over the mac & cheese (crushed)?

  2. belovedalways on August 24, 2013 at 9:03 am said:

    Although I can’t remember the last time I made macaroni and cheese of any kind at home (years and years, sadly), a local restaurant that is located only in the midwest has a PHENOMENAL lobster mac and cheese with bread crumbs on top that I get every time we frequent the place. I’m going to try to replicate their recipe for a holiday meal this fall. YUM.

    OTOH-I’m not sure we have a comfort zone sex routine any more. We pretty much experiment every night with something. I’m sure SOMETIME we’ll get older and tired and settle into a routine of some sort, but THIS IS NOT THAT DAY! LOL

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  4. messymarriage on August 28, 2013 at 11:49 am said:

    I’m hopping over from Gaye’s place since she recommended your post and I’m so glad I did! This is great and such a necessary challenge to us “old married folk.” I for one often get in a rut with food, with restaurants and especially with sex. So I’m taking the gentle nudge to spice it up and try new things, my friend. And I wish I could also try your Pub’s mac and cheese! ha! Sounds delicious!

    I’d love to have you link this up over at my place – Messy Marriage where the Wedded Wednesday link up is going on!

    • Why, I think I will link up (after I get home from work and am not trying to do it from my phone)! My pub really does do amazing mac and cheese. Enjoy your own efforts to shake things up a bit.

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