The Unbroken Woman blog is hosting The Respect Dare. Starting July 10, participants will be using Nina Roesner’s The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband as a guide, posting about their journey. And I will be doing it with you!
I am all over this Dare. It’s about sex. I do sex!
At one point in my life, if I had gone through the Respect Dare process, this one would have stopped me cold in my tracks. I would have gone no further, as my thoughts would have been directed outward rather than inward: How dare some woman I don’t know presume to tell me that I’m supposed to have sex with my husband? Why does he get to decide what our sex life should be like? I would have been angry that a total stranger was trying to make me feel guilty about not having sex with my husband more.
A few years ago, I simply would not have been able to get past the idea that my husband should get any say in my sex life—and yes, that’s exactly how I would have perceived it. I would have resisted even thinking about the questions posed in the chapter. The Dare would have been done. I might’ve dug my heels in even more.
I didn’t realize then what sex means to most men in marriage. I didn’t realize then how much I benefited from our sexual intimacy. I didn’t realize then how much stronger our marriage is when we make time for each other and this special time of connection that God designed us to enjoy.
What I didn’t realize then . . . I absolutely know now. I resisted thinking about the very thing that I’ve come to realize is deeply important in my marriage.
And I wonder . . . what else do I not realize now that might be sitting there, waiting for me to learn? What do I resist now that might turn out to be important in my marriage as well? The attitude I had for so long about sex is representative of my attitude about so much else. Likewise, I suspect that the growth and transformation I’ve experienced in our sex life is representative of my growth and transformation in other areas of our marriage.
I am SO glad this Dare fell on the day I returned from a family campout with my kids. My husband and I have missed each other, so tonight will be a love-making of welcome and comfort. I think of his arms and how wonderful it will be to have them around me again. And as much as it’s about sex on one level, it will be about so much more than sex.
Women, if you’re following the Dare in some way, what challenges did you face in this Dare?
Read these other bloggers to learn about their experiences with the Respect Dare:
The Respect Dare Blog (author Nina Roesner)
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