The Unbroken Woman blog is hosting The Respect Dare. Starting July 10, participants will be using Nina Roesner’s The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband as a guide, posting about their journey. And I will be doing it with you!
Remembering is a looking back to the past and pulling that past into the present to intentionally carrying it forward.
In this Dare, we are asked to look back at the attributes and strengths that gave us reason to marry our husbands. I did that. I liked what I saw. Several years ago, I saw a quiz in a women’s magazine asking about why I married my husband. I honestly couldn’t remember—or everything I remember was so shaded by how our shared life had developed that I could no longer see it clearly.
As I’ve been writing about my thought processes with these Dares, you are hearing a lot of negative thinking and whining. For so long, these thoughts were going through my head without my full awareness. They drove my every response to my husband. My patterns of interaction were, at a subconscious level, rooted in these negative thoughts and mental scripts. Being aware enough to put them into words means that these thoughts are rising to the surface where I can start to deal with them. This process has been hard. It has been messy. I have done so much work already; I know I have even more ahead of me.
I have seen parts of myself that I’d rather ignore. But here’s something else I’ve seen: my husband.
As I’ve been so wrapped up in my struggle, he has gone out of his way to be loving, to support me in prayer, to be patient while I’ve tried to talk with some of these things with him. I find myself wondering who this man is and where he’s been all these years. And I know—he’s been here all along. I just didn’t allow myself to see him.
This Dare asks me to remember, but it’s more than that. I’m not looking to the past to see the big picture of who my husband is. I’m looking into the eyes of the man who stuck with me through years of gate-keeping and refusal, loyal to the point of his own heart pain, loving me, unashamedly, with great undying devotion. I didn’t know that kind of love was possible. I look into his eyes and know that God has given me a great gift in this man.
What have you remembered about the man you married? When you look at the big picture, unclouded by the mess of daily details, what do you see in the man in your life?
Leave a comment, and be sure to drop by today’s Unbroken Woman post to share your journey there as well.
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