Have you ever had that experience when you encounter the same concept in a bunch of different ways, with different people, multiple contexts, and one consistent nudging from God throughout it all?
That’s been happening with me lately. In reflections on my own life, conversations with friends, and articles that have been showing up in my news feed, God has been confronting me to think about what it means to be enough.
Although this isn’t specifically about marriage or sex, I think that not-enough-ness has a big impact on our marriages and on our sex lives. So often, when I hear from a woman who struggles with sex, at least one part of her story has to do with not feeling like she is enough.
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See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; the Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8
Who am I to write what I do?
Do I have sex often enough to be an expert? Is my sex life spicy enough? Is it too spicy? I’m not healthy enough, beautiful enough, or bendy enough to really know what I’m talking about.
Am I a good Christian? Am I conservative enough? Am I liberal enough? Do I pray enough and read my Bible enough? I don’t have enough experience in Bible study to speak with enough knowledge. I haven’t spent enough time serving in enough ways.
Do I know enough to manage the technical aspects of a blog? Would it have taken anyone else most of a week to make two new pages for her website? Am I tech-savvy enough to know how to do things? Am I humble enough to learn what I don’t know and to accept guidance from others? I’ve never questioned whether I am a good enough writer, although I probably should have since I’ve published multiple glaring errors during the past week.
I. Am. Not. Enough.
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I’ve often had the same kinds of questions as a wife.
Who am I to have a good marriage? I’m not a good enough homemaker. I’m not humble enough to be a good wife. I’m not Christian enough to be willing to set aside my own desires for my husband’s. I’m not strong enough to let my husband make mistakes and not take it personally.
Who am I to have a good sex life? Am I unbroken enough and pure enough? I’m not sexy enough to enjoy sex. I’m not beautiful enough to truly be attractive to my husband. I’m not comfortable enough in my own body to be able to relax and let go.
I. Am. Not. Enough.
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How many of us are weighed down by the burden of not-enough-ness in our daily lives? I’m not thin enough or curvy enough, so I won’t even try to look nice. I’m not a good enough cook to contribute something homemade to the potluck. I’m not brave enough to admit that I’d just as soon take something made by the deli. I don’t have a clean enough house so I won’t invite my friends over for coffee. I’m not organized enough to help on a project related to a subject I’m really interested in. I’m not thick-skinned enough to risk doing something imperfectly. I’m not lovable enough, so I will try to do such a perfect job that no one will get around to noticing how unlovable I am. I’m not smart enough, relaxed enough, knowledgeable enough, good enough, or even-tempered enough.
I. Am. Not. Enough.
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My friend, I want to tell you that you are enough. You are smart enough and good enough and beautiful enough.
You are cherished enough that God would leave 99 other sheep to rescue you from your sin.
You are loved enough that God sent His Son to save you.
You are beautiful enough because you are one of God’s creations, woven together with His full knowledge of who you would be.
You. Are. Enough.
Except . . . it isn’t enough to say you are enough.
On your own, you are not enough—but as a Christian, you are never on your own, are you?
You are enough with God.
God cherishes you. God loves you. God made you, in His image.
On our own, not a single one of us is enough. Not me, and not you.
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
We sometimes have such high standards for ourselves, thinking we need to do it all on our own or that we need to prove something, to prove we are enough.
What if we were to accept the fact that on our own, we are not enough—and just stop stressing about it? What if we stopped trying to prove ourselves all the time? What if we were to say we’ve had enough of trying to hold ourselves to standards of perfection?
As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Romans 3:10
Let’s just say we’ve had enough with trying to do all and be all on our own. Instead, let’s just remember that we are God’s and that all our worth comes from God and from the Cross.
Enough, already, okay?
Do what you can as well as you can, whether it is in your work, your marriage, your marriage bed, or your service to the church.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
Stop asking yourself whether you are enough, because it doesn’t really matter.
What matters is this:
God. Is. Enough.
And with God, so are you, my friend. With God, you are enough.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Image credit | sspiehs3 at pixabay.com
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Amen.