Okay, God. Let’s Do This Thing

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
~Be Still, My Soul

Anxiety hit me hard last month.

I’d been emotionally depleted for some time, and I spent a week early in July trying to replenish and restore myself.

That’s when the anxiety settled in—and kicked me for weeks.

But, what if . . . ?

Ironically, the anxiety was triggered by some very good things.

After a long while of trying to find a new job, Big Guy was offered a position that made him very happy.

My son reached closure with a difficult and frustrating situation that had lasted two years.

I was able to purchase my ticket for the upcoming Declare Conference. (Speaking of which, if you’d like to contribute to our team’s expenses, you can do so here.)

I’d prayed for all of these things, yet instead of seeing God’s hand, I worried about the enemy lurking around the corner.

Instead of recognizing and celebrating these good things, I found myself thinking of worst-case scenarios, what-if-ing every possible problem, and waking up in the middle of the night thinking about what might go wrong.

I spent entire days on edge, constantly prepared for bad news that never came.

For an entire month, I missed out on all the joy of the good things God had brought into our life.

My anxiety oozed into my husband’s life and into our marriage, robbing him of much of his joy and excitement about his new adventure.

Then God got my attention.

After several weeks of nearly debilitating anxiety, I had a very clear message from God: “You prayed for this. How did you not recognize that it was My hand that put this all into place?”

Chastened, I knew that I was going to have to deal with the anxiety. I wasn’t ready just yet, so I made some half-baked attempts at praying and journaling about it. I managed to identify fear as a factor in my anxiety, but that’s as far as I got.

On a Sunday morning, God got my attention in a big way.

Our church service that day centered around fear and anxiety. The children’s message was about facing fear. The regular sermon talked about how living in fear prevents us from walking in joy. Our hymns and prayers all pointed me to the need to deal with the fear that underlies my anxiety. One of the hymns was based on my go-to Bible verse, Psalm 46:10. Even the benediction hammered in the message God was sending me that morning. My pastor reminded me on the way out of the sanctuary that I have a big God.

On Instagram, I posted a picture of one of our hymns that morning. I wrote about the very clear message I got from God: fear and anxiety get in the way of my life, God is big enough to handle all of it, and it’s time for me to get to work.

At the end, I wrote, “Okay, God. Let’s do this thing.”

So that’s what I’ve been doing.

Sometimes God makes sure I have absolutely no doubt about what I need to be working on in my heart. I’ve spent much of this past week digging into my anxiety. It’s really all about fear, and I’ve known that is what I need to deal with in myself. Then every single part of church today hammered that in–the call to worship and the benediction, the children’s sermon and the sermon for grown-ups, every single song we sang, every prayer we lifted, and my pastor’s question wrapped in a hug as I left the sanctuary, “How big is your God?” Okay, God. Let’s do this thing.

A post shared by Chris (@forgivenwife) on Jul 29, 2018 at 1:54pm PDT

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

I dug back into some of the fear and anxiety that had become my constant companion., I uncovered some lifelong heart wounds that still need some healing. I’ve been reading scripture. I peruse articles about anxiety (both Christian and secular). I’ve prayed through some hymns that speak to me.

I talked with Big Guy about my anxiety, apologizing for letting it sap some of his own joy. I’ve invited him to “speak into my life” (which was NOT easy, as I’d much rather wallow in my own pity party).

We recently spent several days in the UP for my family’s campout at my parents’ cabin on a clear lake. I swam out into the small bay.

In the quietness of a summer afternoon, God whispered across the water.

Be still.

As I floated and lightly treaded water, I saw all the simple rhythms of life around me. The breeze blew ripples in the water. Fish flopped. The loon cried out. The voices of my family carried across the water. The trees stood tall, lightly swaying.

In my quietness, I was able to see God’s hand in that moment—and in so many other moments as I looked back. In my stillness, I truly knew that He is God—and the worst of my anxiety drifted away.

Doing this thing is growing me.

Since we returned, I have continued to spend time every day trying to address my fear and anxiety through prayer, study, and practice.

This is not pleasant work, nor is it pretty. I’ve faced unpleasant truths about myself, and I’ve done a good bit of ugly-crying.

Yet I already see fruit from this effort. My anxiety is not gone, but I am developing some ways to manage it. In the process, God is inviting me into deeper healing of some raw places in my heart.

In addressing the problem of my anxiety, I’ve seen the beginning of healing and growth..

What about you?

God got my attention, and I responded with, “Okay, God. Let’s do this thing.”

For me, it was anxiety and fear that got in the way of walking in joy. What is it for you?

Do you have personal struggles that get in the way of living your life as God designed you to? Do they affect your husband and your marriage?

Is there an area where God has been trying to get your attention?

What is there in your heart that God wants you to work on?

Maybe it’s time for you to say, “Okay, God. Let’s do this thing.”

Image credit | josealbafotos at pixabay.com