With a blog that is a ministry for women, I am sometimes puzzled by the number of men who read here. I am grateful that they do, as the stories and comments from women here provide them with insight that can help them better understand their wives.
With both comments and emails from hurting husbands, I am often brought to tears by the depth of pain brought on by a wife’s sexual refusing and gate-keeping. And I know all too well that where his heart hurts, hers probably does as well.
When I approve and respond to comments from men, I am always mindful of how the comments can be part of ministry to women. I think about wives reading the comments and understanding a bit more about the hearts of men. I also think about the wives of the men who comment and email. Supporting their husbands is a way of indirectly ministering to these women..
Over the next few days, I am going to ask that you lift up these men in prayer. Pray for their relationship with Christ. Pray that they find the courage and love to help their wives see the need to work on sexual intimacy. Pray that they are able to continue to love even while feeling unloved. Pray for these men, and pray for their wives.
Men, if there are specific ways we can pray for you, please post a request in the comments. I’ll do my best to approve comments while I am away from home.
Ladies, please pray for these men and their wives even as you pray for your own husband. Let’s surround these marriages with prayers for healing.
Blessings to you all.
Image courtesy of graur codrin/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I've moved! While you can peruse the archives here, I am no longer posting at The Forgiven Wife.
Please join me at Honeycomb & Spice.
Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.
Reblogged this on Baby Mama's Blog.
I will pray.
“Pray for their relationship with Christ. Pray that they find the courage and love to help their wives see the need to work on sexual intimacy. Pray that they are able to continue to love even while feeling unloved. Pray for these men, and pray for their wives.”
Yes, all of this and that my wife would find me desireable again.
Thank you for your prayers, Chris and ladies.
Please pray that the hurt and anger that I can feel can be washed away by the blood of Jesus. Please pray that I will be given the words and actions my wife needs. Thank you
I appreciate your blog, and if you ever would (or maybe you already have, and I missed it) consider writing an advice blog for those husbands who are currently in… umm…. let’s say, a season of drought, I think it would be great. I am not talking about a “how to get your wife to have more sex” post, but more of a “here’s a way to handle the situation in a Christ like manner and not make things worse” kind of thing.
I (incorrectly) used porn as a coping mechanism for my wife’s refusals and what I thought was her apathy towards the quality and quantity of sexual intimacy in our marriage. It only compounded my problems. I have confessed, am fighting my addictions, trying to improve communication, and hope to become the man I want to be for her. I pray for strength, humility and wisdom in hopes that I can regain her trust, respect, & love through compassion, grace & forgiveness. Thanks for all your help and your prayers.
It sounds like you are working on your own growth. I will pray for your marriage to be blessed.
Having come to realize that my wife will probably never ever become “awakened” to her sexuality like you describe your own experience. How can I continue to love her even when she won’t change in the ways I’d like.
You can’t in your own power, but…..
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” Matthew 19:26b
Maybe is it time to change your goal to having her change in ways He’d like? Or is there a possibility that He wants you to change in ways He’d like?
Of course I know nothing of what you’ve already done, so those are just possibilities. No accusations or condemnation in them.
🙂
For your glory, Lord, I pray that you will redeem these marriages. I pray that you will draw these discouraged husbands to storm the gates of heaven on their wive’s behalf — and when they don’t even know what to pray for, that your Holy Spirit will intercede on their behalves. I pray that you will fill these men with hope, and courage, and strength, and perseverance, and love. I pray that You will give them joy despite their circumstances. Lord, please provide them with tangible evidences of Your love. Please, lift them up Lord. In Your Word, Father, you tell us that you are “able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think”. For your glory, Lord, I pray that you will perform miracles in these men’s marriages — in their hearts and in the hearts of their wives. I want to see Your glory Lord. In Jesus’ name.
That was really beautiful! I don’t even want to try after that, so I’ll just say a very loud Amen!!!!
I feel very selfish when I pray ‘Dear Lord, please create in my wife a sexual awakening…..’ or something similar, as if she is somehow ‘broken’ and in need of being ‘fixed’. Because SHE isn’t, but our sexual relationship is.
Jason,
Perhaps you can pray for a spiritual awakening instead. That’s what led to my sexual awakening. I believe that women that don’t feel that sex is a good gift of God have some spiritual growing that needs to occur for sex to be understood as God intended it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in praying for sexual healing for your wife. Maybe just be open to Him for your own healing and spiritual growth. We are all works in progress. 🙂
A change in your wife’s heart would be good for her and your marriage. Pray for God to heal your marriage. It is not selfish to ask God to provide all He wants for you.