Can you really fake it to make it when it comes to sex?

I’ve often said I’m a prime example of the advice, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” The idea is that if you act a certain way, those actions will lead to real change.

We hear this counsel in a variety of ways:

Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.

Act “as if”—as if you have the qualities that you want to have, such as confidence or a positive attitude. (See Bonny’s post about power poses and finding your inner Wonder Woman.)

It is easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.

Smiling will make you happier. Read More →

Food can add some fun and sexy sensations.

Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
Song of Songs 2:5

In the Song of Songs, the Bible gives us a vivid description of sexual intimacy.

This book shows us a sex life that includes all the senses—including taste. Read More →

How can you restore connection in your marriage?

For many years in my marriage, I felt disconnected from my husband.

For him, connection happened primarily through sex and also from us just being in each other’s presence. We could be watching a TV show together and not speaking at all, and he would still feel like we’d had a good connection.

For me to feel connected, I needed us to have conversations about meaningful things (not just the “business” of the family). I needed real face time. Conversation that happened during commercial breaks or when he was interested in sex didn’t do it for me. Read More →

A post for the guys who comment here.

Now for something completely different . . .

Today I’d like to write to the men who read this blog.

Guys, I know there are a lot of you who read here. Many of you, sadly, are in marriages lacking in intimacy.

Read More →

Sex Chat for Christian Wives launches today!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your husband–and Happy Podcast Launch to Hot, Holy & Humorous, Bonny, Gaye, and me!

We gave you a preview with our first episode last week, but today is the full launch of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Read More →

I’m so excited to get to share with you about a new resource that will be launching six weeks from today: a podcast about sex, just for Christian wives.

Sex Chat for Christian Wives is a biblically-based podcast brought to you by Bonny Burns (Bonny’s OysterBed7), Gaye Christmus (Calm.Healthy.Sexy.), J Parker (Hot, Holy & Humorous), and yours truly.

A new podcast for Christian wives!

Read More →

I thank God for so much in my life. As I’ve  been juggling so much today (setting up the dining room table, peeling potatoes, coordinating the crockpots, roaster, and oven so our food is all ready at the same time, and refereeing a family political discussion),  I have been so grateful for  food, for family, and mostly for my husband. He made a last-minute trip to the store for butter and has managed the last bit of cleaning. He comes and hugs me to remind me that I am loved and that even in my ponytail and messed-up apron, he finds me beautiful.

What are you thankful for today?

Is untreated depression affecting the sexual intimacy in your marriage?

Several factors influenced my resistance to sex over so many years of our marriage. My sexual and emotional baggage and my responses to relational hurt were at the top of the list.

One more factor played a major role: depression. Read More →

It's my blog-versary!

Today is my blog-versary. It began three years ago with The Pit of Refusal.  When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure I’d even make it past three months, so making it to the ripe old age of 3 feels like quite an accomplishment! Read More →

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