Rock What You Know (or, Chris Does Dishes)

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might . . . Ecclesiastes 9:10a

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

Big Guy and I recently became new members at a church we’d been attending off and on for some time.

It’s a bit disconcerting to be new. I don’t know the rhythms of things in this church. I don’t know where things go, who prepares the communion table, or even who cares most about the church kitchen.

It isn’t that it’s hard to learn these things. It just takes time and experience. I know that I will become part of this church family in time.

Although I can’t speed the process much, I can make good use of that time.

I can do what I know, even as I keep learning.

Chris does dishes.

After a recent event at church, I helped with clean-up. It was easy to walk around with a garbage bag and throw out used napkins and paper plates. It wasn’t so easy when it came to sturdy plastic serving dishes. Does the church clean and re-use them, or does everything get pitched? I carried a load of stuff to the kitchen and realized that I had absolutely no clue where anything went. I’d never even been in the kitchen!

Other women were bustling around to put things away. Obviously, I couldn’t do that. So I did the one thing I knew I could do:

I washed dishes.

I needed help finding a dishrag, but I filled up the sink with hot soapy water, rolled up my sleeves, and got to work.

Every time a new bin of dirty dishes was put next to me, I added them to the pile of things to wash. And I washed them. For over half an hour, I stood there, with my dressy sleeves rolled up, and washed and rinsed dishes.

Washing dishes was the only thing I could do, but I did with it commitment and enthusiasm.

I wanted to show that I value the work of the church and the other church members. I wanted to demonstrate that I was willing to do my part. Although I didn’t talk much, I listened to the conversation the other women were having. I learned a little about their hearts and about their care for each other. I felt just a bit more like I was part of the church.

I don’t know much about how to do things around our new church, and I’m trying to learn. Meanwhile, I can rock what I do know how to do, even though it is just doing the dishes.

What can you do?

If you’re beginning to address sexual issues, my dishwashing offers a lesson (in case you were wondering why on earth I’m writing about dirty dishes).

When you’re just starting to work on sex, it can feel new and a bit disconcerting.

Even if it’s something you did years before, your bodies are different now. Positions that worked great twenty years ago may require different angles now. The surefire technique that worked on your 25-year-old husband may not have the same effect on him when he’s 50. The rhythms may be a bit different.

If you’re trying to learn something you’ve never done before, you have the challenges of figuring out where things go and how to deal with mental or physical discomfort. It doesn’t matter if it seems like other women have no problem doing a particular act or even looking forward to sex. If it’s new to you, it’s going to take time and experience.

So what do you do in the meantime?

Pursue learning. Read Christian-friendly articles about sex and sexuality. Participate in a study of the Bible or of a book on sexual intimacy. Learn new things. Practice them.

Meanwhile, rock what you know.

Is missionary the only sexual position you’re comfortable with right now? Do it with commitment and enthusiasm! Are you still trying to wrap your mind around the idea of oral sex? Work on it—but do intercourse and manual stimulation with confidence and desire. Do you have a see-through nightie you’re not yet brave enough to wear? Wear your more discreet lingerie with great gusto.

Do what is necessary to work on sex and conquer any issues you have, even though it will take time and experience to get to a place of confidence and comfort. Use what you do know to the utmost of your ability. It can strengthen the process of building (or rebuilding) the intimacy in your marriage.

Have sex with enthusiasm.

Rocking what you do know is a good way to improve your sex life. It shows that you value your marriage and your husband. It demonstrates that you’re willing to do your part in your marriage. It helps build your confidence in yourself as a sexy and sexual woman.

When you have sex, have sex with all your might.

Have sex with your whole heart.

Rock what you know—and you just might rock your husband’s world (and yours) along the way.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net