Body image got you down?

Body image is a common struggle for women.

We think we are too much or not enough. Too tall or too short. Too curvy or not curvy enough. Breasts that are too small, too saggy, too uneven. Hair that is too straight or too curly, too shiny or not enough shine. Big feet. Small feet. Too sturdy or too frail. Too fat, or not meaty enough.

Many of us have faced self-consciousness about some aspect of our bodies, whether it is due to a lack or an abundance. Read More →


You can help yourself feel sexy!

One thing that can help you look forward to sex is to do things that help you feel sexy.

Do you know what helps you feel sexy? Do you know how to remind yourself throughout the day that your sexuality is part of God’s design for you? Read More →

It’s time to be intentional about claiming your sexuality and your sexual desire.

In theory, I know that God created me to be a sexual being. I know that I experience arousal, desire, and orgasm. I know that some things are more likely than others to lead to an orgasm for me.

In theory, I embrace my sexuality and rejoice in it.

In practical terms, though, I have a lot of work to do. Read More →


For the past several mornings, I’ve woken up to sub-zero temperatures. This morning it was -1, with a wind chill of -15. Brrr.

As I walked into the garage to get in my car to leave for work, I thought—as I have many, many times—how thankful I am to have a garage.

When you park outside, a cold winter morning means that you’ll need more time and effort to get going.

  • You have to scrape ice off the windows. (This is not ice like the recent ice storms in the US involved. I’m talking run-of-the-mill ice that forms on the windows.)
  • If it’s super cold, you need to worry about your locks freezing. You need to remember where you keep your de-icer.
  • If it snowed overnight, you may be plowed in. At the very least, you need to go brush all the snow off your car.
  • When you start the car (which isn’t always easy when it’s cold), everything is sluggish. Even once your car is safe and ready to go, you’re going to be shivering for a while until the engine heats up enough to warm your hands and face.

When you have a garage, it is so much simpler to just get in your car and get going. By keeping the car just a bit warmer and keeping ice from accumulating on the windshield, you can get where you’re going quicker and more enjoyably.

  • You don’t have to scrape anything off your car.
  • You don’t have frozen locks, so your doors open right up.
  • The car isn’t going to be quite as sluggish. When I left this morning, it was zero degrees outside and around 15 in my garage. It still took my car a while to get warmed up, but those fifteen degrees make a big difference.

Like many women, I take a while to get warmed up sexually. If we start from scratch (with my mind on something else completely), it takes me a while. I may not have ice on my windshields, but my husband needs to help me scrape off whatever has accumulated on my mind throughout the day.

I don’t have locks that are frozen, but it takes a little more coaxing to open my mind and heart to the idea of sex.

Starting my engine? That’s quite a challenge. Everything is sluggish. Once I get warmed up, everything can get quite hot—but it isn’t nearly as pleasant as it could be while we wait for that to happen.

When I keep my “sexy” in the garage rather than parked out in the cold, it’s a lot easier for me to get warmed up so we can take it out for a spin. In non-car terms, this means keeping my sexuality from getting frozen away by all the accumulations of the day. Keeping me even lukewarm all the time makes it easier to get to “hot.”

How can you keep your “sexy” in the garage?

  • Wear pretty underwear. Every time you go to the bathroom, you’ll be reminded that you’re worth beautiful things.
  • Allow your mind to wander to sex throughout the day. On the day after a wonderful sexual experience with my husband, I often find myself experiencing a physical reminder of our time together—a sexual twinge, a mark from where his nails dug into me just for a second when I surprised him, anything. For years, I dismissed these thoughts as soon as I became aware of them. Now, I allow myself to soak in the memory just for a moment. It relaxes me. It makes me smile.
  • When women around me make a comment of frustration about their husbands’ sex drives, rather than join in, I offer a response that indicates that I like my husband’s interest in sex. Just today, when a co-worker told me that she’s usually too tired for sex, I told her to get more sleep because she’s missing out. By encouraging other women in their sexuality, I am reminded of my own.
  • Place something that reminds you of your husband’s love for you where you will see it frequently throughout the day. I use a cute little mousepad that my husband gave me at my desk at work. I also have a small stone heart he got for me once when he was away for work and was thinking about me.
  • Be intentional about thinking about your husband throughout the day. When the phone rings, make a point to think about something you love about your husband or about sex before you answer it. If you take your wedding ring off while you put hand lotion on, actively think about why you wanted to get married.
  • When I run across an image of a beautiful woman in sexy clothes or underwear, instead of comparing my body to hers and thinking that I could never wear that, I imagine how my husband would look at me if I were wearing it.

Being intentional about my sexuality and my sexual relationship with my husband throughout the day is part of what keeps my “starting point” a little higher than it would be otherwise. It’s like keeping my car parked in the garage.

How do you maintain your sexuality and your sexual relationship with your husband? What keeps your “sexy” parked in the garage?


A couple months ago, I wrote this in an online forum. I really liked it, and it’s one of those things that keeps coming back to me. Especially during stretches where my husband and I don’t seem to be connecting as much (sexually or emotionally), it’s a good reminder to me. (I’ve tweaked it just a tad.) Read More →