My hair has thrown me into a tizzy. It has always been fine, with a little natural wave. By the time I was in junior high and started paying attention to my hair, I was trying to use a curling iron to tame it into a Farrah Fawcett ‘do.
My senior year, I cut it short. Other than a couple brief stints with perms, my hair has been short since 1982. Whenever the layers started to grow out, I attempted to blow dry my hair into submission while smoothing out the wave. I started growing my hair out this past January. Even then, I attempted to control my hair through the use of a flatiron.
I have tried to control my hair since the late 70’s.
A couple months ago, my hairdresser encouraged me to just let my hair become its natural self. Despite my daily trepidation about looking in the mirror for the first time every morning, I am trying to do just that.
I have discovered something I never, ever knew about myself: I have curly hair!
How is it possible that I am only now–in the year I turn 50–discovering that I am a curly-haired woman?
I have tried to exert control (unsuccessfully, I might add) over my hair for 35 years, yet I never knew my hair was curly. My efforts to perpetuate what I believed to be true (that my hair just had a little wave and that short was the only way it looked good) prevented me from seeing the truth of my hair.
So now I wonder: how many other things are there about myself that I simply don’t know because I have been so busy trying to control them for so long?
Think about all the things you believe to be true about yourself: you’re shy, you’re a procrastinator, you’re unattractive, you aren’t good at trying new things, or you just aren’t that sexual.
You probably perpetuate these beliefs by making decisions based on them. You avoid certain people or situations because you think you aren’t good at handling them. You don’t let your husband see you in certain light because you think you don’t look good. You avoid sex.
What if it turned out that these things about yourself weren’t true? What if you were to stop trying to control them and make decisions based on them?
What if you were to just let go of control and see what naturally developed?
It isn’t easy. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my hair. I’ve missed a lifetime of reading beauty magazine articles on how to care for curly hair. Most of my current hair care routine exists thanks to an article a bunch of my friends posted on Facebook a few weeks ago about things only women with curly hair understand.
You know what, though? It’s kind of exciting. I am 49 years old and am thrilled to still have something new to learn about myself.
I invite you to look in the mirror at the things you believe to be true about yourself.
Let go of control. Who knows what you might discover about yourself if you simply let go so you could become your natural self–the woman God designed you to be?
Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.
Wow – letting go? I honestly don’t know if I can do that. I have too much anxiety I’m holding too tightly, but then – having said that – I guess I NEED to let go? Will be praying about this! Thank you for an amazing blog.
Letting go isn’t easy. I’ve seen so many women held back because they’re holding on to identities or self-images that don’t even fit them anymore. If this hits close to home, it is definitely worth taking to God in prayer.