I didn’t think my body was perfect when I was 18, but sadly, it turns out that’s when my body was at its peak in terms of physical beauty.
The decades have taken their toll on me. Weight, pregnancies, breast-feeding, gravity, and hormones have all changed my body.
My husband is a breast man. (See this post as evidence.) There are times when I struggle to believe that he really likes the way they look now because they aren’t as beautiful to me as they were all those years ago.
Many wives face this same struggle. While they admit that their husbands seem to like their bodies, they aren’t completely sure.
Some women worry that their husbands compare them to women they’ve seen before in porn, and that makes it harder to believe when a husband says, “You’re beautiful.”
Today’s post is from–gasp!–a man. Donald Hines writes eloquently about why a wife’s breasts are perfect for her husband.
It really helped me better understand my husband’s continuing attraction to my middle-aged body.
Donald, thank you so much for helping us see through a husband’s eyes!
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A woman’s breasts change over time, and that’s OK! It’s better than ok. We husbands love those breasts, just as they are, including all the changes that come with age and use, because they are attached to the one we love, and have HISTORY!
Breasts in a magazine or on a computer monitor aren’t REAL breasts. And I don’t just mean that they are probably air brushed implants, it goes way beyond that. You can’t touch them and feel them. You can’t enjoy the way pleasuring those breasts pleases the person they are part of. Porn breasts are just objects; a wife’s breasts are part of a PERSON, and that makes them infinitely more sexy and appealing.
Porn breasts have no history! A wife’s breasts bring back memories of the first time she offered them to you, of all the different sexy outfits she has used to accentuate them just to please you. They remind you of soft kisses on her nipples on a rainy night, and of desperately, hungrily, devouring them in a strange hotel bed. You think about a time you touched those breasts with the soft delicate strokes of one finger, and of the sound of her sigh as you did it. And also of a different night when she shouted “More!” and moaned loudly as you groped those wonderful breasts firmly with both hands at once.
You remember watching those breast hypnotically swaying over you while you made love, and you remember them lying against her chest and, oh so gently, moving in rhythm with her breath during the afterglow of orgasm. When you see your wife’s breasts, you are reminded of how they looked, lit by the soft golden glow of a candle, which she lit just so you could enjoy looking. And you also recall those breasts as invisible but oh so incredibly soft and inviting pillows in the dark of night. You remember, not only when they were younger and firmer, but when they were bursting with milk, when they developed that first bit of droop, and when they showed their first stretch mark, and ALL of that is just part of the history of these oh so wonderful organs.
A wife’s breasts may have stretch marks, and they may not be as full as they once were, but that’s because they’ve been USED, and you’ve sure enjoyed being part of that. Those stretch marks are like the wear and tear on an often read book. Seeing worn spots on the corners of the cover, or the occasional bent page corner, doesn’t make you hate the book, it just reminds you fondly of how many times you’ve read it, and of how much enjoyment it has brought, and of how it has enriched your life. You love the old worn book because it has history, a personal history of enjoyment between you and it. You TREASURE each of those signs of use, and a brand new and unmarked book wouldn’t satisfy you at ALL in the way this one does. In the same way, those stretch marks on a wife’s breasts aren’t unattractive; they are beautiful evidence that she is alive, and real, and of the wonderful uses those breasts have been put to over time.
A wife’s breasts are so much more than just objects. They are part of a person. They are the combination of so many memories and so many nights of passion that you could NEVER replace them with ANYTHING that would be more perfect.
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Who is Donald? Donald has been married for over 25 years now and has one son. He teaches at church and is involved with prison ministry. He works with computers for a living because they are easier to figure out than people.
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Yep! Donald nailed it! Hopefully this will allow wives to realize that we see things differently than they do. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
This brought back beautiful memories while reading. Thanks for sharing.
I’m glad this spoke to your heart.
I struggle to believe he likes the way I look because he never, no exaggeration, never says anything more specific than “you look nice” or “I like that shirt,” and nothing of that sort when we are naked together even though I have specifically asked him to. 98% of what was said in that article would not apply to any of our times together throughout 37 years.
My husband isn’t one to be eloquent when the blood is drained from his head, and I don’t recall him making specific comments, either. Still, when I read this to him, he absolutely agreed that this is how he feels as well. Could this be the case with your husband as well, perhaps?
The “nothing specific” was referring to any comment about me or the way I look. He doesn’t say much of anything in bed, about anything, good or bad and doesn’t like me to. I’m not after eloquence but some evidence he ever has a good thought about me would be a real treat. And, if I read that article to him he would correctly asume I was after a response from him (of some sort, affirmation or denial?) and would be po’d. Talking is the death knell here. Your prayers would be appreciated.
Beautiful article! I wish all wives would GET it, their husbands aren’t liars when they say that their wives are beautiful, they mean it from the heart.
My wife and I recently had a discussion about this very thing, as we are going through the “31 Days to Great Sex” course. I actually prefer the changes having children has had on her breasts, most especially the nipples.
Works out nicely that way, doesn’t it?
Chris, knowing some of my journey, you may be shocked to hear this. I know my husband loves my breasts. More importantly, I do too! They are awesome and so am I!
That’s awesome!
Yup yup yup, this guy nailed it. NAILED it. In a lotta ways, but especially these 2:
1. everything else is not real. It is all a fake and a tease. At best, the product of a twisted world trying to exploit God’s gift to make a living; at worst, straight from the devil to mess us up.
2. To a lot of us guys- I think MOST of us guys- our wives just get more and more beautiful, and it IS our shared history. What other woman’s body made my family and nourished them, in a million ways???
To Lanonymous, all I can offer is prayers for you and your husband and your marriage. Stay close to God. His plan is good, but man does it have some rough seasons. Keep praying and we will too. May God bless you – continue to bless you – and particularly, to bless you with joy in your home and marriage, and soon!!!
(38 years and never stronger)
Hearing this from other husbands is very reassuring to those of us who still battle body image issues. Thanks for your comment.
Awesome post.
As my eyes dim with age, my wife looks better. All part of Gods plan.