For the past several mornings, I’ve woken up to sub-zero temperatures. This morning it was -1, with a wind chill of -15. Brrr.

As I walked into the garage to get in my car to leave for work, I thought—as I have many, many times—how thankful I am to have a garage.

When you park outside, a cold winter morning means that you’ll need more time and effort to get going.

  • You have to scrape ice off the windows. (This is not ice like the recent ice storms in the US involved. I’m talking run-of-the-mill ice that forms on the windows.)
  • If it’s super cold, you need to worry about your locks freezing. You need to remember where you keep your de-icer.
  • If it snowed overnight, you may be plowed in. At the very least, you need to go brush all the snow off your car.
  • When you start the car (which isn’t always easy when it’s cold), everything is sluggish. Even once your car is safe and ready to go, you’re going to be shivering for a while until the engine heats up enough to warm your hands and face.

When you have a garage, it is so much simpler to just get in your car and get going. By keeping the car just a bit warmer and keeping ice from accumulating on the windshield, you can get where you’re going quicker and more enjoyably.

  • You don’t have to scrape anything off your car.
  • You don’t have frozen locks, so your doors open right up.
  • The car isn’t going to be quite as sluggish. When I left this morning, it was zero degrees outside and around 15 in my garage. It still took my car a while to get warmed up, but those fifteen degrees make a big difference.

Like many women, I take a while to get warmed up sexually. If we start from scratch (with my mind on something else completely), it takes me a while. I may not have ice on my windshields, but my husband needs to help me scrape off whatever has accumulated on my mind throughout the day.

I don’t have locks that are frozen, but it takes a little more coaxing to open my mind and heart to the idea of sex.

Starting my engine? That’s quite a challenge. Everything is sluggish. Once I get warmed up, everything can get quite hot—but it isn’t nearly as pleasant as it could be while we wait for that to happen.

When I keep my “sexy” in the garage rather than parked out in the cold, it’s a lot easier for me to get warmed up so we can take it out for a spin. In non-car terms, this means keeping my sexuality from getting frozen away by all the accumulations of the day. Keeping me even lukewarm all the time makes it easier to get to “hot.”

How can you keep your “sexy” in the garage?

  • Wear pretty underwear. Every time you go to the bathroom, you’ll be reminded that you’re worth beautiful things.
  • Allow your mind to wander to sex throughout the day. On the day after a wonderful sexual experience with my husband, I often find myself experiencing a physical reminder of our time together—a sexual twinge, a mark from where his nails dug into me just for a second when I surprised him, anything. For years, I dismissed these thoughts as soon as I became aware of them. Now, I allow myself to soak in the memory just for a moment. It relaxes me. It makes me smile.
  • When women around me make a comment of frustration about their husbands’ sex drives, rather than join in, I offer a response that indicates that I like my husband’s interest in sex. Just today, when a co-worker told me that she’s usually too tired for sex, I told her to get more sleep because she’s missing out. By encouraging other women in their sexuality, I am reminded of my own.
  • Place something that reminds you of your husband’s love for you where you will see it frequently throughout the day. I use a cute little mousepad that my husband gave me at my desk at work. I also have a small stone heart he got for me once when he was away for work and was thinking about me.
  • Be intentional about thinking about your husband throughout the day. When the phone rings, make a point to think about something you love about your husband or about sex before you answer it. If you take your wedding ring off while you put hand lotion on, actively think about why you wanted to get married.
  • When I run across an image of a beautiful woman in sexy clothes or underwear, instead of comparing my body to hers and thinking that I could never wear that, I imagine how my husband would look at me if I were wearing it.

Being intentional about my sexuality and my sexual relationship with my husband throughout the day is part of what keeps my “starting point” a little higher than it would be otherwise. It’s like keeping my car parked in the garage.

How do you maintain your sexuality and your sexual relationship with your husband? What keeps your “sexy” parked in the garage?

12 Thoughts on “Park Your “Sexy” in the Garage

  1. belovedalways on December 12, 2013 at 9:41 pm said:

    How do you maintain your sexuality and your sexual relationship with your husband? What keeps your “sexy” parked in the garage?

    *We write notes to each other on our bathroom mirror and they stay there until we write something new.

    *Nearly daily, dh tries to guess which sexy underwear I’m wearing for the day before he peeks.

    *Every morning as we have our coffee and breakfast together, I verbalize what I liked about the previous night’s encounter. That seems to be a big encouragement for my dh and definitely keeps us both looking forward to the next encounter.

    *Not every day, but often, I plan what I will be wearing to bed that evening. It keeps me looking forward to deliberately being pleasing to my husband.

  2. These are great ideas I love them all especially the one about being intentional. When I intentionally respect him, this not only maintains our sexual relationship but keeps in high drive.

    • I am working on being intentional in all things in my marriage. My natural inclination is to lead with my heart reactively. Now I try to lead with my heart proactively, thinking ahead and looking for opportunity. With time, many things I am now intentional about should become habit.

  3. We shower together several times a week. Even in low frequency times we did. It’s a way for hubby to get a serious eyeful and for us to talk uninterrupted (small children – we wait til after bedtime or set a morning alarm) which fills some of my need for emotional intimacy. Sometimes it leads to something, most times it doesn’t. But we have been vulnerable with each other and that’s a great start.

  4. witness9 on December 13, 2013 at 4:52 pm said:

    Great post!

  5. Ladies- with all of smart/cell phones and tablets available-it easier than ever to take a sexy picture of yourself or write a sexy note to him. It keeps both of you running warm. This is especially help with opposing shifts or crazy scheduling occurs. We do this since hubby routinely works 17 hours a day 4+ days a week. We share an email so it is easy to send a private picture of his favorite bits of me to him via email then I send him a sexy heads up via text so that he knows to open it in private. We also routinely have dates where sex is a frequent topic of discussion and then following up

  6. I always try to stay conscious of the things he most enjoys, even when we’re not doing them. He loves lovemaking from behind, so I’ll wear yoga pants and other things that hug my rearend. When walking away from him I’ll do a little “wiggle” as a sign I know he’s watching. I know it’s meaningful to him.

  7. Pingback: Marking Time | The Forgiven Wife

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