How You Can Support Women in Their Marriages

Dear friends,

A few years ago, I asked for your help in sending me to a conference, and you came through in a way that still humbles me. Now I am asking for your support on an on-going basis to help me encourage women in their marriages. I am also asking you to become an encourager yourself.

Marriage matters, and sexual intimacy matters to marriage.My own life has shown that all too well.

Over the past several years, my life has seen so much change. For a long time, I worked full-time and was the primary breadwinner for our family. When the recession arrived, my husband’s industry was hit hard. He spent several years in and out of temporary jobs and unemployment; we are so thankful that I had a job and health insurance to get us through that time.

It was during this most difficult time in our lives that I decided to work on sexual intimacy in our marriage. I figured I didn’t have anything left to lose, and it was the only thing I could think of that might bring my husband out of his long unemployment-related funk. God had used this time to soften my heart and to draw me closer to Him. It prepared me to work on our marriage.

I began to read blogs and books to help me better understand God’s design for marriage, both in and out of the marriage bed. I began to have conversations with friends to get a sense of what attitudes other women might have toward their husbands. I sought knowledge and understanding. I still do, and I continue to grow.

Of all the things that have changed in my life, the changes in my marriage have been the biggest and best.

After working on sexual intimacy and getting to a point where our marriage was on the road to restoration, I began writing here. My lifelong dream was to become a writer. God showed me how I could use that desire by sharing what I have learned and experienced in my marriage journey. I love what I do here more than I ever could have imagined.

When I was let go from my job several years ago, my husband and I decided that I would try to pursue this ministry full-time. I would write and look for ways to support other Christian women in their marriages. We wanted for me to do for others what so many others had done for me. We saw God’s hand all over this decision, and we have been blessed in so many ways.

Unfortunately, the recession took its toll on my family; we are still trying to recover financially. We have both seen God’s call for me to write fulltime, yet the reality is that my writing needs to provide financial support for me to have time to continue building this ministry.

I have several books outlined, and I’ve sketched out ideas for speaking engagements. These things take time. I also need time to respond to emails and to support individual women who have shared their hearts with me. God has been showing me ways to reach women one-on-one or in small groups. The things that make the biggest difference aren’t necessarily the things that provide financial support.

The ads on my blog are intrusive and I want to be able to remove them—or at least reduce them to only ads from Christian businesses. They have provided enough for me to be able to keep my blog hosting alive, but that’s about it.

In order to grow this ministry and encourage more women in deeper ways, I am asking for your help. I have joined Patreon, a site that allows people to support those who create—through writing, music, art, and more. My patrons will get exclusive bonus material—information about upcoming projects, content that is just for you, occasional webcasts from me (gulp), and other stuff.

You can find my Patreon page here. (There’s a link in my sidebar as well.)

Please pray about whether you can be a monthly patron. If you aren’t able to do that, I ask that you pray for God’s blessings for this ministry.

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You can do even more than provide financial support, too.

I ask that you also pray about how you can personally encourage other women in their marriages, especially in the area of sexual intimacy. Sex can be the source of so much heart-ache and tension in marriage. It can also be the source of so much joy and oneness.

Look for ways that you can speak positively about sex. That doesn’t mean you go around announcing to your friends how many orgasms you had during the past week or what your favorite position is, but it might mean that you say how excited you are to have some time alone with your husband (with a wink-wink added in).

When you’re at the mall and another woman makes a comment about how there’s no point in buying lingerie because it stays on for only two minutes, you can smile and say, “Yeah, that’s because it’s working!”

If a friend complains that her husband only wants her for one thing, offer to listen—and if the time is right, share what you love about the connectedness that comes through sexual intimacy. If you once felt as she does, you can be the encourager that she needs.

Some of us try to support women in their marriages through writing. I obviously think this is important, and I know it helps many women. But just think how many more women could find joy in sexual intimacy if they were hearing it from people who they know care about them. So much growth happens in the context of relationships. What I do matters, but what you can do one-on-one matters even more.

God designed our bodies, our hearts, and our minds. He tells us that the relationship between a husband and wife is like the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Be the salt and light in a world of flavorless and negative views of married sexuality.

How can you support marriages?

May God bless you, your marriage, and the marriages around you.

~Chris

Image credit via PicMonkey

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I've moved! While you can peruse the archives here, I am no longer posting at The Forgiven Wife.

Please join me at Honeycomb & Spice.

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  Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.