How You Can Support Women in Their Marriages

Be the salt and light in a world of flavorless and negative views of married sexuality.

Dear friends,

A few years ago, I asked for your help in sending me to a conference, and you came through in a way that still humbles me. Now I am asking for your support on an on-going basis to help me encourage women in their marriages. I am also asking you to become an encourager yourself.

Marriage matters, and sexual intimacy matters to marriage.My own life has shown that all too well.

Marriage matters, and sexual intimacy matters to marriage. Click To Tweet

Over the past several years, my life has seen so much change. For a long time, I worked full-time and was the primary breadwinner for our family. When the recession arrived, my husband’s industry was hit hard. He spent several years in and out of temporary jobs and unemployment; we are so thankful that I had a job and health insurance to get us through that time.

It was during this most difficult time in our lives that I decided to work on sexual intimacy in our marriage. I figured I didn’t have anything left to lose, and it was the only thing I could think of that might bring my husband out of his long unemployment-related funk. God had used this time to soften my heart and to draw me closer to Him. It prepared me to work on our marriage.

I began to read blogs and books to help me better understand God’s design for marriage, both in and out of the marriage bed. I began to have conversations with friends to get a sense of what attitudes other women might have toward their husbands. I sought knowledge and understanding. I still do, and I continue to grow.

Of all the things that have changed in my life, the changes in my marriage have been the biggest and best.

After working on sexual intimacy and getting to a point where our marriage was on the road to restoration, I began writing here. My lifelong dream was to become a writer. God showed me how I could use that desire by sharing what I have learned and experienced in my marriage journey. I love what I do here more than I ever could have imagined.

When I was let go from my job several years ago, my husband and I decided that I would try to pursue this ministry full-time. I would write and look for ways to support other Christian women in their marriages. We wanted for me to do for others what so many others had done for me. We saw God’s hand all over this decision, and we have been blessed in so many ways.

Unfortunately, the recession took its toll on my family; we are still trying to recover financially. We have both seen God’s call for me to write fulltime, yet the reality is that my writing needs to provide financial support for me to have time to continue building this ministry.

I have several books outlined, and I’ve sketched out ideas for speaking engagements. These things take time. I also need time to respond to emails and to support individual women who have shared their hearts with me. God has been showing me ways to reach women one-on-one or in small groups. The things that make the biggest difference aren’t necessarily the things that provide financial support.

The ads on my blog are intrusive and I want to be able to remove them—or at least reduce them to only ads from Christian businesses. They have provided enough for me to be able to keep my blog hosting alive, but that’s about it.

In order to grow this ministry and encourage more women in deeper ways, I am asking for your help. I have joined Patreon, a site that allows people to support those who create—through writing, music, art, and more. My patrons will get exclusive bonus material—information about upcoming projects, content that is just for you, occasional webcasts from me (gulp), and other stuff.

You can find my Patreon page here. (There’s a link in my sidebar as well.)

Please pray about whether you can be a monthly patron. If you aren’t able to do that, I ask that you pray for God’s blessings for this ministry.


You can do even more than provide financial support, too.

I ask that you also pray about how you can personally encourage other women in their marriages, especially in the area of sexual intimacy. Sex can be the source of so much heart-ache and tension in marriage. It can also be the source of so much joy and oneness.

Look for ways that you can speak positively about sex. That doesn’t mean you go around announcing to your friends how many orgasms you had during the past week or what your favorite position is, but it might mean that you say how excited you are to have some time alone with your husband (with a wink-wink added in).

When you’re at the mall and another woman makes a comment about how there’s no point in buying lingerie because it stays on for only two minutes, you can smile and say, “Yeah, that’s because it’s working!”

If a friend complains that her husband only wants her for one thing, offer to listen—and if the time is right, share what you love about the connectedness that comes through sexual intimacy. If you once felt as she does, you can be the encourager that she needs.

Some of us try to support women in their marriages through writing. I obviously think this is important, and I know it helps many women. But just think how many more women could find joy in sexual intimacy if they were hearing it from people who they know care about them. So much growth happens in the context of relationships. What I do matters, but what you can do one-on-one matters even more.

God designed our bodies, our hearts, and our minds. He tells us that the relationship between a husband and wife is like the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Be the salt and light in a world of flavorless and negative views of married sexuality.

Be the salt and light in a world of flavorless and negative views of married sexuality. Click To Tweet

How can you support marriages?

May God bless you, your marriage, and the marriages around you.


Image credit via PicMonkey

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9 Comments on “How You Can Support Women in Their Marriages”

  1. You have helped me so much in this last year, our stories being very similar. I will definitely be praying about doing this. <3

    1. I didn’t know that. I’ll see if I can figure anything out as an option. I’m so attached to my cell phone that it wouldn’t even occur to me that not everyone has one.

    2. I asked Patreon if there is a way around the cell phone requirement, and this is what I was told:

      “There certainly is- mostly because we don’t require a cell phone just to use the platform, but there are two cases in which someone would be asked for a cellphone.

      1 is with 2 factor authentication if this isn’t enabled- no cell phone is needed to sign in.

      2 is with Stripe- this is more difficult because it would have already been set up (maybe even on a different website)- but the fix is to look for a “back” button or arrow at the top left of the small popup window that wants a code- and instead of pulling up existing billing info – your patron can enter new info, and doesn’t require that text validation code from Stripe to use existing billing info.”

  2. Chris,
    You have a beautiful, compassionate spirit and you’ve been such an encouragement to me in my marriage. i will be praying for your ministry and I think your work helping and encouraging women in marriages so needed… I’m looking forward to seeing your books. I want to comment that I’ve wondered in the back of my mind how I can support women in marriages. I have experienced in just the short time I’ve been married that marriage can be the most challenging thing but the source of the most joy. Sex can be so hurtful if there are issues, but it can be the most beautiful source of intimacy. And it seems the enemy loves to attack marriages since so many are hurting (and often individuals in these marriages suffer in silence because it’s almost like taboo in the church to be having marriage and sexual issues)! I hope I can help other married women at some point, and I’m not sure how yet. maybe as my own marriage grows God will place women on my path who I can encourage and give advice too in this area.

    1. I think if we work on our own marriages and really listen to others, we can usually find the places where our words and actions can encourage and support. Walk your path and allow God to lead you where He wants you.

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