During difficult times, feeling like a couple is so important. For the past several days, I’ve been thrown into caretaker mode. I have stayed with my husband at the hospital and have made him comfortable, put his socks on him, bathed his forehead, adjusted the thermostat, and rubbed his back.
There isn’t a whole lot of mutual support going on at the moment. I’ve been frightened, tired, and stressed; the normalcy I’ve craved has been hard to find. I have wanted to know that Big Guy is still my Big Guy and not just a patient.
Over the past couple years, my husband and I have had Friday night date night. We usually have something special to eat (sometimes out and sometimes at home), and sex is usually on the menu at the end of date night.
We usually try to dress in a way that the other likes. For my husband, that means he wears my favorite black shirt and the underwear that makes him feel especially manly and sexy. For me, there is usually something interesting going on beneath my clothing and I wear a dress or blouse that allows for discreet peeks or that hints at something I know he would enjoy.
Sometimes date night can be a challenge. We may need to schedule around our kids’ transportation needs (they share our cars). Sometimes we are with our best friends. There are times when we’re apart.
As long as we aren’t apart from each other, we make a point of having some kind of date on Friday night–even if it is just a short walk around the block holding hands.
We honor date night as a way of honoring each other and our relationship.
We even managed date night in the hospital last night. I pushed Big Guy’s recliner next to one of the visitor chairs. We had drinks (juice in styrofoam cups with straws) and watched a movie on the TV in his hospital room. I curled up and held onto his arm. We dimmed the lights.
We got lots of “aw” and “that’s so sweet” from the nurses, and I made sure to point out that it’s important for married couples to have date night.
There was no sex (because, you know, hospital…no lock on door…Big Guy’s heart problems…not wanting to blow up the heart monitor he’s on), but we still managed to have our date and feel like a couple for the evening.
He’s having a couple procedures today that should get him on track to healing, and then we’ll learn how to figure out what’s normal again.
A friend has suggested that once we get the all-clear to resume sexual activity, we can recreate our date night, with me dressed up as a sexy nurse and Big Guy in a hospital gown with red anti-grip socks.
I don’t know whether that will happen, because I really, really like Big Guy’s black shirt he usually wears for date night.
Date night can happen anywhere–without dressing in a special way, without food, without an outing, and even without sex if we have to.
As long as it’s date night and we’re together, I’ll be happy.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net