The most important step in any journey is the first one–but you need to keep going if you are going to get anywhere.
Two days ago, I encouraged you to choose a first step, just one thing you’ll work on in changing your sexual relationship with your husband, and pray about it for a day. What do you need to do or think about in order to actually take this step? Yesterday, I asked you to actually do it.
Did you do it? Did you pick a first step, pray about it, and then give it a try? Great! Even if it didn’t work so well, it’s still great! You took a step!
Uh, now what?
Now, you do it again. Take another day to pray. Talk with God about how it went. Was it scary? Was it unsuccessful? Did your husband appreciate your effort? Did he even notice? How can you do this again next time? Pray about it today, and tomorrow, do it again.
There’s only one way to make something into a habit, and that is to just do it. Take baby steps if you need to. Take time to reflect, pray, and plan.
It takes three weeks to make a habit. I’m going to encourage you to take at least a month. Be intentional about praying, doing, praying, and doing until you find that you no longer have to ask God for courage or wisdom and you realize that just doing that one thing is easier and more natural. Or maybe you’ll discover that you actually enjoy this step. Then give yourself another week or two to rejoice in the fact that you’ve really taken a step and made progress.
For the next month, keep doing step 1. Do it to wash away the bad habit you are replacing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I’d love to hear what your step 1 is, so post a reply if you like!
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Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.
I actually started doing what these last several posts have been about 2.5 weeks ago. Trying to change my own thinking, I have stepped out of my comfort zone *again* and have committed to DH that he could have OS to completion once a week. On top of daily IC. At his call.
So far-so good.
Good for you! Has any of it gotten automatic yet, or are you still in the “getting used to it” phase? I hope you and your husband are both enjoy your sexual feasting together.
Double good for you. If my wife tried that I’d be wrapped around her fingers!
Double good for you!