My Cup Runneth Over

Big Guy and I love mugs and cups. We have way more than we need for drinking coffee and tea, but we can’t seem to help ourselves. We like mugs that remind us of shared experiences as well as those that are individual mementos. We have mugs from former workplaces, special events, and favorite sports teams. We have mugs that we’ve given each other to express something meaningful to us, with funny or special sayings.

Here are two of my favorite mugs. Big Guy gave me the one on the left for Valentine’s Day a few years ago. When I wake up feeling frumpy, that’s the mug I use to remind me that I am more than how I feel any given day. I got the one on the right from our podcast Zazzle shop, and I use it when I am editing our podcast episodes. (If you want one, you can purchase it here.)

My other favorite mug was a gift from my daughter. I use it when I wake up feeling grouchy. (She knows my personality so well!)

Words of Love

Big Guy prefers to express his love for me through actions rather than words—but he knows words are important to me, so when he finds words that say what he feels, he shares them with me.

The other night, he sent me a link, telling me that although he knows we have too many mugs already, he found one that expressed what he feels.

To My Gorgeous Wife,

When I say I love you more I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.

Love, Your Husband

The next day, he sent me a link to a mug that he said spoke even more for him:

To My Wife,

Never forget that I love you. If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me.

Love, Your Husband

I suspect these mugs speak for quite a few husbands, not just for mine. I’ve seen so many comments from men (here, on other blogs, on discussion forums, and more) that speak to what these two mugs say. I can’t help but wonder if their wives really believe them.

Disbelief

I used to not believe these words from my husband. I felt like he loved me only for what I could (or should) do for him. I believed his love was conditional. I thought he said words like this only to get sex. Even in those moments when I believed he really meant these words, I knew that he didn’t truly know the real me (because I withheld part of myself), so his love was for an illusion of me, not for who I really was.

When he spoke words to express how he saw me—good, beautiful, wonderful, sexy—I thought it was just something he said to get sex. Or I figured he was saying those things as an obligation, because he knew he was supposed to say them as my husband.

My response to these kinds of words was usually to dismiss what he said or point out why he was wrong.

Learning to Believe

One of the challenges I faced on my marriage journey was learning to believe my husband. When he tells me I’m beautiful, I have learned to say “thank you” rather than pointing out my obvious (to me) physical flaws. When he tells me he loves me, I understand that those words represent deep feelings of commitment, connection, and affection.

When your husband gives you compliments or speaks words of love to you, what is your response?

Do you believe him and appreciate the words, or do you do as I did and dismiss the words as nothing more than an obligation or an attempt to convince me to have sex?

I want to encourage you to choose to believe your husband. What if you made the assumption that he really does mean the good words he speaks to you? Even if you don’t agree with him, believe that his words speak the truth as he sees it. Believe him, and thank him for his words.

An Overflowing of Love

As I’ve looked at the words on these mugs, I’ve been overwhelmed by emotion.

I know that my husband truly and deeply feels what these words express. His love for me is deeper than any problem will ever go. I am special to him. He wants me to know how much he loves me and how special I am. He wants to get me mugs so I have these words—his feelings—in front of me every time I open our mug cupboard.

I am married to a man who wants me to always know I am loved and that I am special.

My cup truly runneth over (even if I don’t have enough space for it in the cupboard).

Image credit | OpenClipart-Vectors at pixabay.com

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