One Small Habit

When you’re starting to pursue growth in any area, it’s easy to wonder if you’ll actually get anywhere.

Look at that huge mountain I have to climb, you might think. I’m never going to be able to get to the top. I don’t really know what path I should take. Everything I can see myself doing is so small. It will never make a difference.

Ladies, I’m here to tell you that even small things can make a difference.

Travels to the Post Office

Several months ago I moved to a small town that doesn’t have home mail delivery. Instead, we have to pick up our mail at the post office. Desperate to get some alone time and get out of the house for a few minutes, I began walking to get our mail every day.

At the time, I had recently torn hamstrings on top of the long-time arthritis in my knees and lower back. Even the short two-block walk was sometimes a challenge some days. I would stop and rest at the park. On days when I was in a lot of pain, I gave myself permission to drive or just wait until the next day. Most days I walked—but every day, I thought about it first. It was a daily decision.

I came to enjoy my small daily outings. It was nice to get a breath of fresh air. It was good to get out of the house and into the community. I enjoyed seeing a few people I recognized. I was proud of myself for being active every day, which was a change from my mostly sedentary life before moving.

It was just a small thing, but I was doing something different. I didn’t think about how this new habit was affecting me. I just knew that I enjoyed doing it.

Last week I was chatting with a friend on the phone and mentioned that I was glad my arthritis hasn’t been much of a problem since I moved. I was surprised to realize that I hadn’t even thought about my arthritis much over the past couple months. She asked me what had changed, and I didn’t know. Then I said, “Well, maybe it’s because I’ve been walking to the post office every day?”

As I walked to the post office the next day, I found myself thinking about how my legs felt. My arthritis isn’t gone. I can still feel it from time to time. Here’s what is different: my small daily walks have begun to strengthen the muscles that support and protect my knee. Walking hadn’t eliminated arthritis, but it had made my arthritis less of a problem for me.

I could tell that I was walking a little faster than I once did, and when I got home I had more energy instead of feeling just a bit worn out. Furthermore, I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I actually thought about whether to go to the post office. It’s just something I do every day without making a conscious decision about it.

This one small habit that I did just to get me out of the house and get our mail had turned out to have a positive impact on other areas of my life.

Marriage and Sex Habits

Small regular habits can make a difference for your marriage and your sex life as well.

At first, they require a daily decision and occasionally a bit of grace for yourself when you aren’t able to follow through.

As the habit develops, it becomes more automatic and it takes less energy to do.

You may not eliminate problems, but efforts you make in other areas can provide support that makes those problems less challenging, even if those problems have been with you for many years.

Small Habits That Can Help Your Sex Life

So what are some habits you can develop that can have a positive effect on your sex life?

Here are some ideas for you!

• Smile at your husband when he makes a sexual comment.
• Think for a few moments every day about a time when you enjoyed making love with your husband.
• Pray for your husband to feel loved by you.
• Initiate sex once a month.
• Take a deep breath before you respond to your husband’s sexual initiation.
• Pray every day to learn to enjoy sex more.
• Practice saying “I want to have sex with you” or “I love the feeling of your penis inside me” when you’re alone, just to get used to hearing your own voice speak those words.
• When you bend over when your husband is near, wiggle your rear end or let him get a glimpse down your shirt.
• Wear underthings that help you feel pretty.
• Read and pray about a chapter from the Song of Songs each week.
• Do your kegel exercises.
• Change your sleepwear, perhaps changing from a t-shirt and underwear to a nightgown, or from a nightgown with underwear to a nightgown with nothing on underneath, or from just a nightgown to just your birthday suit.
• Thank God every day for your husband’s love for you.

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