A Perfectly Ordinary Moment

How sweet are the perfectly ordinary moments in your marriage?

My daughter took a sweet picture of Big Guy and me this week.

Every day, my husband calls me when he is on his way home from work so we can catch each other up on our days. When he comes home, I stop what I am doing and welcome him home with a kiss and a long hug.

The other day, I greeted him outside as I had something for him to put in his truck. We stood together outside the back door while I told him about a cool God thing that had happened earlier in the day.

His arm was around me. (Technically, his hand was resting on my rear end.) I had my hand on his shoulder.  It was one of those perfectly ordinary moments that we experience so often that we are barely aware of them.

My daughter saw us. She got out her phone, took the picture, and had it posted on Facebook before we came back inside.

She said that she took the picture because it’s sweet how we are together. We talk on the phone, and then we still spend time with each other.

It warms my heart to know that she sees our relationship as a sweet one with our daily connection and pleasure in each other’s company.

Our kids have all shared with us the unhappiness their friends have expressed at the state of their parents’ marriages. They’ve told of dads who sleep on the couch every night, parents who speak to each other only to argue or exchange grocery or to-do lists, a lack of any physical contact, and largely separate lives. They see little affection and no companionship in their parents. It isn’t too different than the marriage we once had.

My mind flashes back to a time about eight years ago. My daughter said that it seemed like Big Guy and I never spent time with each other. She wanted to know why we were married—because she saw nothing in our relationship that would explain that for her.

At that time, I had no answer for her. I often wondered myself why we were married. “Sweet” was just about the last word I would have applied to our marriage.

Now, however, my daughter no longer asks us about our marriage—because our relationship is visible—and good—to her.

She took the picture because, she said, it perfectly captures the marriage she sees in us all the time. It is a good picture of us being us.

I encourage you to think about what those close to you see in your marriage. Consider the many ordinary moments you and your husband experience. If you and your husband were observed standing together in conversation, would you be touching? If you were standing with your arms around each other, would it be viewed as just an ordinary thing or as a rare occasion?

How sweet are the perfectly ordinary moments in your marriage?

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul . . . Proverbs 13:19

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8 Comments on “A Perfectly Ordinary Moment”

  1. You are teaching your daughter thru your actions. I never learned those lessons growing up. What I saw wouldn’t exactly inspire one to get married. Thankfully, God provided the inspiration in the form of my beautiful wife. Still, those lessons I learned growing up, were largely the ones I passed on to my own son, who is dead set against marriage. My wife and I have managed to find our way to where we should have been all along, but I am at a loss to how to demonstrate the value of marriage to my now 30 year old son. I only hope the Lord opens his eyes, like he did mine. Ordinary moments are the ones I cherish now.

  2. This is so great! Not terribly long ago, I had a conversation with one of my sons about the days when our marriage was awful. And, thankfully, he didn’t remember any of that. He just something said like, “I know y’all love each other. You’ll always be together.” Exactly what I want him to know!

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    1. It matters that our kids see the good example in front of them now. Although I would prefer that my kids didn’t remember the difficult years at all, I guess it’s good that my kids have seen that people can work hard and turn things around.

      1. Life and marriage is not always easy and showing both the sweet times and the times of conflict are both very important. Showing how to conflict, and as my youngest son says we are “talking” and uses his fingers to apply the quotes, is also very important. At the end of the day I hope we have modeled what a healthy Christian marriage looks like. Sure as a man I would like more intimacy with my wife but it is not her strongest gift not that she is not trying in her own way. She strives to provide the affection she thinks I need and we do show affection in front of the children which are in teens and low 20’s.

        I want to complement you on your ministry which speaks so much truth. Please feel encouraged that what you say is and will continue to make a difference in many marriages.

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