25 Years

Happy 25th anniversary to Big Guy and me!

Today we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, and I find myself a bit gobsmacked.

Just a few years ago, we had grown apart to a point where I was pretty sure we would have divorced by now.

On our 19th wedding anniversary, I looked at our lives and I was afraid.

Our kids were teenagers. One was about to graduate from high school, and the others weren’t far behind. I knew that within the next few years, our nest would begin to empty. It would be just my husband and me.

Big Guy and I were at the lowest point of our marriage. Sexual intimacy had slowed to a trickle at less than once a month. We rarely had a conversation that wasn’t about the kids or about things we had to do. We’d stopped arguing–because we’d stopped caring. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed with Big Guy. Articles I read about revitalizing your marriage always included a question about why you’d married each other in the first place; I honestly couldn’t remember.

At 19, I wasn’t sure we’d make it to 20. I had absolutely no hope that we’d make it to 25.

Six years ago I had no hope for our marriage.

Today we are both happier in our marriage than we would have believed possible. Our intimacy (sexual, emotional, and spiritual) is the best it’s ever been, and it continues to grow. We laugh together quite often, and although our nest isn’t completely empty, we enjoy having the house to ourselves more and more.

I know that my work to change myself is part of the reason we are here.

Even more, though, is the fact that my husband stayed with me even when I had sexually abandoned him. I didn’t think we would make it to this day, but he never doubted. His persistent love in the face of my stubborn resistance is the best example of Christ’s love that I have ever seen.

Happy anniversary to Doug, my Big Guy. I’m so glad to be married to you.

Me and my man
This picture is from three years ago. The stained glass window behind us had been installed days before our wedding at my husband’s home church, which is where we married.

Image of rings courtesy of Boykung at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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34 Comments on “25 Years”

  1. Congratulations to you, both! I pray that you are blessed with another 25 years, at least. That you marriage only grows stronger with each passing day, month and year. That you get to share the Johor being grandparents and even great-grandparents, many, many times over.

    Thank you, Chris, for sticking it out and asking God to help you and Big Guy find ways by leaning on Him, to increase your love by sexually demonstrating your love for Big Guy. Your blog has helped me and my wife strengthen our marriage sexually.

    Until I showed my wife your website, she said she never realized just how important the sexual side of marriage was to a man, nor the importance of her being willing to try different sex acts. And, that sexually satisfying her was just as important to me as my own sexual satisfaction. And, there’s not much that’s “dirty” about sex between a husband and wife; if both are simply, honestly and truly focused on trying to sexually satisfy one another. Sometimes, it’s actually rather fun to “get a little kinky,” as long as no one gets hurt or is forced into doing something they don’t want to do. But, on the flipside of that, refusing to do something because you can or because you feel the need to punish your mate for some transgression(s), either real or imagined, only pushes your mate further away, both physically and emotionally, and ofttimes into the arms of someone else.

    Again, Happy Anniversary to both of you!!!


  2. Congrats!! We made it to 50 a year ago, hope you make it there too. Our sex life was dead for those last 25, until 6 months ago. Thanks to you and several others who encouraged my wife and I to get the spark going again. So, thanks for your faithfulness. You are a wonderful example to us.

    1. 50 is quite an accomplishment! We are working on our health so we can get there, too. It’s wonderful encouragement to many to know that the spark can be relit after the embers seem to have died.

  3. I know what you mean about health. We are both overweight, have arthritis, my wife needs two knee replacements, I have ED. All those slow us down, but we keep going the best we can. We grieve the losses, and rejoice in what we can still accomplish. We pray that God will give our doctor wisdom, and he seems to come up with good solutions for our needs. I really like the picture of you and your husband. It gives me an image of who I am praying for.

    1. He looks pretty much the same, but my hair is shoulder length and curly now so I look pretty different. With most of our pictures, one of us looks great and the other one doesn’t. This was one where we both looked okay.

  4. Chris,
    Congrats to you and Big Guy. I wish you many more years.
    My husband and I celebrated 25 last year and I wasn’t sure we were going to make it to 26, but next month it will be 26 and our marriage is better than ever thanks in part to this site with your honesty and God’s wisdom.

  5. Well done!!!! I’m so happy for you guys. What wonderful legacy that you’re leaving for future generations of Taylors.

  6. Congratulations on your anniversary! You and this blog have been such an encouragement to me, and I’m just so blessed by “seeing” where the Lord has taken you from and brought you to (so far)! May He bless you with many more years together!

  7. Heartfelt congratulations. Give thanks that you caught yourselves when you did. I think if my wife and I had come to the same point you two did around our 25th, we would probably be celebrating our 35th this summer. We won’t make it – unimaginably sad. Too much water under the bridge. God entrusts us with great gifts, but it is up to us to nurture those gifts and each other.

    1. God can change marriages even when all hope seems to be gone, even after many years. I am very thankful that we made the changes when we did. Earlier would have been better, but we are still at a point when we can fully enjoy our continuing journey.

      1. A big “amen” to that. The power of God to heal and forgive infinitely exceeds our ability to foul things up! At some point, with a marriage or any other relationship, both people have to be in to make it work.

  8. Belated Congratulations on your 25th Anniversary! (Sorry I am a little behind on my blog reading …) We will celebrate our 16th this summer – when I found your blog three years ago I really didn’t think we would make it this far. God bless you for your encouragement and message to work on our own issues – things are not perfect but they are so much better since I took that message to heart 🙂 Wishing you and your Big Guy many more years of happiness!

    1. Belated congratulations are lovely, too! Thank you for sharing that you are seeing positive change in your marriage. It can be frustrating to think about the amount of time true change can take, but it is so wonderful to be able to see the results of our efforts. Just imagine how nice your 20th anniversary will be, with most of the hard stuff behind you!

  9. And a belated Happy Anniversary from me as well!! I too am behind in my blog reading.

    I’m really thankful that you stepped out and started this blog. Your eloquence and ability to cut to the chase while beautifully expressing what many of us can relate to is a real gift. I appreciate your strength and humbleness in constantly allowing yourself to be vulnerable while you share. Your transparency is a challenge to emulate. I admire your willingness to step up and teach other women how to love their husbands. Thank you.

    May the Lord bless you with another 25 years together!

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