A Prayer for the Overwhelmed

When I made the decision to work on sex in my marriage, I felt so overwhelmed. I didn’t know where to begin. The only prayer I could manage was, Oh God, please help me. I can’t do this.

My heart is full of compassion for women who are at the beginning of this journey, overwhelmed and unsure where to even begin. I’ve been reflecting on how very hard it was to know what to do. I took one very small step at a time, but it wasn’t always easy to see what the steps even were. I knew that even while I took small steps, I would eventually have to deal with some difficult things.

If that is where you are today, know that you are not alone. I am here, and I know that some women who read this blog pray for you as you walk this journey.

More than that, you have God on your side, even if you don’t yet know how to pray about this.

I’d like to offer a prayer for you today, something you can use as you talk with God about the journey in front of you.

Holy Father,

Here I am, overwhelmed by everything in front of me. I need your help. I can’t do this without you. I’m not even positive I can do it with you, but I’m going to try hard to believe. Help me believe, God.

Open my heart to understanding and change.

Give me courage to seek the truth about your design for sex and for my sexuality. When I find that truth, help me confront the lies that I have believed.

Show me the places where I can take a step to make a difference in my marriage. Help me be brave enough to take those steps.

Help me believe that sex is for me and that my sexuality is good. Help me believe that my husband’s sexuality is good, too, even though I don’t want to believe it.

Give me courage to understand myself. Make me brave enough to forgive those who have hurt me. Release me from bitterness.

Unlock the chains of shame I have dragged around.

Free me from my need to control, to be perfect, and to not fail.

Show me the freedom I can have in total surrender to you, even in the area of my sexuality.

Remind me to give myself grace when I mess up—because I will mess up. When I stumble, give me a hand to stand back up and get moving again.

Soothe the pain from my heart wounds. Heal me of my hurt. Transform that hurt into something that is good for my marriage and for your kingdom.

Show me where I have sinned against my husband. Help me to repent and ask for his forgiveness.

I feel guilty about how I’ve been with sex. I ask you to help me deal with that guilt in a healthy way that draws me closer to you. Help me own my own sins and make a genuine effort to do better. Show me when I am letting my guilt get in the way of my own growth and in the way of my marriage.

Remind me not to own my husband’s sins out of my own guilt and remorse. Help me forgive him and let him see my forgiveness.

Remind me to pray for my husband, not just about him. Please heal him from shame and hurt that I have caused and that which he carried long before he met me. Comfort him always.

Help me to have compassion for my husband, to believe that his feelings are real, and to care about him.

Give me a love for my husband that is second only to yours. He is your child, too.

Be with me as I persevere, steadfast in my efforts to change even if my husband stays the same.

Help me remember that my feelings and my husband’s responses don’t have to control my actions.

Make me victorious in this area of sexual intimacy.

Protect me from the enemy that attacks marriages and uses sexuality to hurt and to separate me from you.

Fill me with gratitude as I soak in your presence.

I am your beloved daughter. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am beautiful because I am yours. You delight in me.

Sustain me, oh God, as I travel this journey to learn to fully embrace the sexuality that you gave to me.

Amen.

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