As I wrote about last week, CSL at The Curmudgeonly Librarian invited me to write a guest post in which I got to respond to several ideas he had been writing about.
Turn-about is fair play, and he had some responses to my post (which was itself a response to some of his posts).
Next thing we knew, we were having a conversation. The conversation has broken down into three segments (although I won’t rule out the possibility of more). You are invited to witness our interchange.
If you’ve read many of my blog posts, you aren’t likely to be surprised by anything I say in this series. However, it does seem to be a more “unplugged” version of me than usually shows up on my own blog. By the time I got to the third segment, I was feeling pretty raw and exposed. (Don’t tell CSL, but he seems to know just what buttons to push. Scary.)
In the first segment, we talk about communication in marriage, a video about a nail, CSL’s customer service skills, and the effectiveness of breast honking as an arousal strategy.
I hope you enjoy the interplay between us. You can find the first part of our conversation here.
Image credit | geralt at pixabay.com
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Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.
from a guy – – – I’m finding your dialog to be quite helpful and illuminating. Parts sound familiar to where I live, and other parts less so. But just reading the DIALOG ITSELF helps me to see + think about differences between genders, differences between individuals, and the challenge and blessing of building intimacy, trust, love, and desire between me + ma honey. Thank you for — as always — having the courage to share with such candor and grace.
Prayers that God continues to bless you both in your ministries!!!
In this day + age when too many relationships are so very mixed up, what you are doing is SO valuable. Bless you both.
Thank you so much for your comment. It is amazing what we can learn when we engage in dialogue rather than try to debate and defend.
Wait. What? We’re not debating and defending? But I’m a guy; that’s what guys do best (tip o’ the hat to Tigger.) There go the rest of my posts. 🙂
Like Chris said, thank you. Uh, Chris the writer, uh, no… The other Chris…
How do you feel about changing your name to Mike. 🙂
We can call it debating and defending over on your blog if you insist–but here I prefer to think of it as discussion and dialogue. 🙂
At least you are not dueling… 🙂
You asked in The conversation what the whole idea of a man showing off his body is all about. While the wife typically hides her body whole naked and say after a shower.
My take on it is that the wife is trying to not get her husband turned on. As she knows most men are visually turned on and she absolutely does not want to get her husband thinking about sex and desireing you. You already know he desires you and enjoys seeing your nakes body so you have no “need” to confirm that.
Most husbands however never feel that they are desired and admired or that their wife even notices thier body. This is especially true if the husband works out and she never says a thing. So when he has the chance and he is naked out of the shower, he is thinking, I will make it impossible for my wife not to notice my body. So “hey, looking here little woman, look at tyour man”
If the wife paid attention to his body at other times,I’d think he would be les likely to perform such a display. Because his need for feeling noticed for his body has already been met.
Men are always in competition over other men. And their physical body and muscles etc is directly linked to outdoing other men and to attract a woman/spouse. Bathe need for affirmation of his body and the comfort that his wife still chooses him and admires and is attracted to him and his body (even when not a “10” or overweight) is still very important.b he knows that woman are not visually attracted or at least knows his wife is not. So he must do an over the top performance, in order to garner any possible attention and hopefully get a positive sign, look or verbal compliment. But usually only gets a disrespectful and hurtful eye roll.
This is probably little different than what a wife is really wanting when she asked her husband: “do these pants make my butt look fat”. I suspect most women just want affirmation that her husband still likes the way she looks and is seeking a compliment and emotional connection.
Just one possible perspective.
Makes sense. Thanks for the perspective.
You asked in The conversation what the whole idea of a man showing off his body is all about. While the wife typically hides her body whole naked and say after a shower.
My take on it is that the wife is trying to not get her husband turned on. As she knows most men are visually turned on and she absolutely does not want to get her husband thinking about sex and desireing you. You already know he desires you and enjoys seeing your nakes body so you have no “need” to confirm that.
Most husbands however never feel that they are desired and admired or that their wife even notices thier body. This is especially true if the husband works out and she never says a thing. So when he has the chance and he is naked out of the shower, he is thinking, I will make it impossible for my wife not to notice my body. So “hey, looking here little woman, look at tyour man”
If the wife paid attention to his body at other times,I’d think he would be les likely to perform such a display. Because his need for feeling noticed for his body has already been met.
Men are always in competition over other men. And their physical body and muscles etc is directly linked to outdoing other men and to attract a woman/spouse. Bathe need for affirmation of his body and the comfort that his wife still chooses him and admires and is attracted to him and his body (even when not a “10” or overweight) is still very important.b he knows that woman are not visually attracted or at least knows his wife is not. So he must do an over the top performance, in order to garner any possible attention and hopefully get a positive sign, look or verbal compliment. But usually only gets a disrespectful and hurtful eye roll.
This is probably little different than what a wife is really wanting when she asked her husband: “do these pants make my butt look fat”. I suspect most women just want affirmation that her husband still likes the way she looks and is seeking a compliment and emotional connection.
Just one possible perspective.