At the end of this week, my husband and I will celebrate our 22nd anniversary–and we will truly celebrate our anniversary for the first time.
Our anniversaries got off to a challenging start. We had a newborn during our first anniversary, and for many years after that we were caught up in the details of parenting, our professional lives, family issues, and whatnot. By the time we could have done something to celebrate our anniversary, we both seemed to know that the marriage we had did not deserve celebration. We’ve always gotten each other cards. There’s usually a nice home-cooked dinner. I get flowers every year. There’s always been sex (except the first year when I’d only been home from the hospital for a couple days). But it has never felt like a celebration of anything.
This year, we celebrate. It’s been about a year since we’ve both felt a shift in our marriage to a good marriage, not just a tolerable one. For the first time, we have a marriage we want to celebrate and rejoice in.
We are going away for the weekend. (Well, we’re staying at a hotel in the city we both go to every day for work, so it’s not really “away” in the traditional sense.) For the first time in our lives, we will stay in a hotel for more than one night without children or parents. Even our honeymoon was just one night in a hotel. This one will even be a really nice hotel. Because it’s our anniversary, they are upgrading our room. Apparently, our shower will be big enough to hold six people. No, I don’t know how they know this or why it is considered a selling point. My husband and I will be perfectly fine with just the two of us.
We’ll go to a show, we’ll have a nice dinner at a nice restaurant, and we’ll have lots and lots of sex. We have each promised a special sexual treat for each other, and we plan plenty of naked time. Because we’re both pushing 50, though, we also have back-up plans in case our bodies can’t keep up with our ideas.
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In honor of our anniversary, every day this week I will post about something I’m thankful for in my husband–something I love or respect.
Today I am especially thankful that my husband is a man who young men respect. He has volunteered with a youth organization for many years, and I have watched young men without good male role models flock to him and soak up what he offers. Yesterday we took my son and his friend out for lunch. The friend lived with us for nearly a year after a falling-out with his father. Recently, he has made some destructive choices that have lost him his job and landed him in pretty substantial legal trouble. All through lunch, I watched my husband treat him respectfully. He called him out on his bad decisions but then expressed full confidence in the young man’s ability to do better. My husband is the only man my son’s friend respects. After lunch, there was a round of heartfelt bro-hugs. I am thankful that God gave me a man who helps shape other men.
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