Balance Restored


I spent ten hours in the car with my daughter yesterday as we drove to Kansas so she can spend time with her boyfriend’s family.

Not long into our trip, we realized that the car’s air conditioning wasn’t working well. We drove with the windows down, but it was still warm. We tried to keep ourselves hydrated, but doing that while traveling means lots of stops along the way, which we wanted to avoid. So we drank only when we were really thirsty rather than making sure we were constantly hydrated. By the time we arrived at our destination, we were both sweaty, headachy, and generally feeling yucky.

We each grabbed a water bottle and poured the contents into our bodies until we’d had our fill. I thought I could feel all my cells soak up the fluid. I drank for a long time, and I began to feel like myself again.

Balance was restored.

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I intended much for today. I have a couple writing projects I’ve wanted to focus on. I figured I would spend some time reading. I’m behind responding to emails. I had great plans.

Instead, I ended up in a beautiful little park filled with trees, playgrounds, shade, and sunshine. After such a long, cold winter, it felt strange to be in shorts and sandals with the breeze blowing through my hair as I stood in the warmth of the sun.

I’ve spent much of my life with plans and to-do lists and intentions. There is always something to accomplish, something to consider, something to read or write, something to clean, something to do.  Even when I’m not doing much of anything, I’m always doing something or planning how to do something. Even now that I’m unemployed or self-employed (I’m not sure which it is just yet), there is always something I need to do.

We so often focus on getting through our to-do lists and avoiding pit stops that we neglect ourselves.

We get out of balance.

Doing nothing is not easy for me. Yet there I was in the park, having thrown my plans out the car window on the way there.

I stood in the park at the top of a levee. In my “letting go of doing anything,” I exhaled my to-do list—and breathed in God. Tension that I didn’t even know I had oozed out of me, and I could feel my soul fill up with God.

Just as I drank water through the day yesterday but didn’t drink enough, I realized that I’ve been doing that with God’s presence as well. I read in the Bible every day. I am frequently in prayer. Still, I have not done enough to be filled.

As I stood in the sunshine this morning, I knew that my soul was soaking up God’s presence just as my body soaked up water at the end of my long drive. I confessed my sins and laid them at the foot of the cross. I asked for forgiveness and healing. I thanked God for so much.

I stood in the sun and the Son for a long time this morning.

Balance was restored.

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We lose balance in our marriages as well. As I watch my daughter and her boyfriend enjoy being in each other’s presence, I am reminded of how much I used to love being with my husband. I didn’t even care what we did—as long as we were together. Over time, our lists and plans took over, and we stopped just being with each other.

As I began to avoid sexual activity with my husband, I avoided his presence in other ways as well. I was with him just enough for it to create the illusion of a hydrated marriage but not enough to actually have our fill.

For so many years, I felt in my marriage the way I did yesterday—generally yucky. I didn’t feel right and I often had a headache. As I gradually learned to drink my fill of the sexual connection available in our marriage, I realized what I had been missing out on for all that time.

Sex is the best way to restore balance in our marriage. There is an exhaling of everything else going on in life and a soaking in of my husband’s presence in my life. When my husband comes home from work every day, we hold each other. It’s good, but it isn’t enough. Sex, however, can fill my heart to overflowing.

And balance is restored.

 What about you? Is it time to restore balance in your marriage?

Image courtesy of nixxphotography /

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5 Comments on “Balance Restored”

  1. So happy for you today — that you are full and peaceful. There’s nothing that compares to that feeling of being full of God’s presence, full of the Holy Spirit! Pure joy just oozing out. I love those precious times with the Lord!

    I do think a pretty close comparison, though, is the feeling of fullness and peace and joy that comes after having genuinely made love to your spouse — the kind where there are no walls, where it’s not so much about the physical pleasure but more about two hearts talking, where the physical intimacy is purely a tender, outward expression of what’s going on inside, times when there’s nothing but love between you. Those special times when both hearts are so soft and vulnerable — where both are naked and unashamed. I love those precious times, too!

    Enjoy basking in the Son and the sun! I bet you’re radiant. 🙂

  2. Hi Chris! I’m stopping over from Let’s Get Real today. I get so much from your posts. They are so beautifully written and really resonate with me. You have given me much to think about here.

  3. Reblogged this on My Journey Through Sex Addiction and commented:
    It’s posts like this that keep me moving forward. Reading that this woman had lost her desire for being with her husband and then regaining it. Previous words to read.

    To soak up the presence if My Bride, THAT is a beautiful way to describe my feeling.

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