The Best Kind of Romance
When I first heard the song “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers,” I hadn’t yet had a real kiss or a boyfriend—but I thought it was …
Blog
Journey of Change: One Year of Change
Today is the final post from Janna Allen (a pseudonym) in which she opens her life to us to share how the journey has looked …
Journey of Change: Gate-keeper to Refuser and Back Again
Today is the second of three posts from Janna Allen (a pseudonym) in which she opens her life to us to share how the journey …
Journey of Change: In the Beginning
We walk different paths on the way to and from sexual gate-keeping and refusing. While I’ve shared much of my own story here, my story …
Make a Marriage Map
During my professor days, I would occasionally take a bunch of colored pencils, crayons, markers, and blank paper into the classroom and place them …
Why “Why” Matters
Dandelions are lovely little flowers, all full of sunshine and happiness—until they turn to seed. Then they become eyesores. They are considered weeds by …
Balance Restored
I spent ten hours in the car with my daughter yesterday as we drove to Kansas so she can spend time with her boyfriend’s …
10 Ways a Long Drive Is Like Working on Your Marriage
10 Ways a Long Drive Is Like Working on Your Marriage Yesterday I made a six-hour drive to the city where my daughter attends school. …
The Carousel
When I was a child, I lived in a city with a wonderful carousel in the park. I would climb onto the horse, and it …
Learning to Stretch
Last fall, I wrote about how I thought I was ready to start tackling my weight. I spent a lot of time after that …
I Want . . .
A refusing and gate-keeping wife faces challenges when she changes her approach to intimacy. She has to change her behavior, her words, her body language, …
Do I Have To?
If your husband wants to do a sexual activity that you dislike, do you have to do it? Is it a dislike you can conquer? How? And what can you do if you just can’t do it?
Of Garden, Fragrance, and Fruit
Lots of husbands love giving their wives oral sex. Plenty of women enjoy receiving it—but what if you’re one of the ones who doesn’t? What do you do? What are some things you can do to get more comfortable with the idea and experience of being orally blessed by your husband?
Blow Upon My Garden
“Blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out.” Song of Solomon 4:16 Let me begin by stating the obvious: the …
Marriage-scaping
Our house was built in 1968, and whoever did the landscaping was most definitely not thinking about the mature versions of our trees and shrubs. We …