A few weeks ago, I mentioned that my husband wanted to fast for me and our marriage one day a month.
Yesterday was his first day. He registered to do this through a website, and the guidelines were that he could have only water and plain bread for 24 hours. In preparation, he bought some flat bread. Neither of us really knew what to expect, as he’d never done this before. All he knew was that when he felt hungry or when he came to a time when he normally would be eating, he should pray.
We talked in bed last night about how the fast had gone. He said that he was really busy throughout his work day so didn’t even have a break to eat when he normally would—so the normal opportunities of thinking and praying that would be triggered by hunger didn’t arise. When he did sit down for a later-than-usual lunchtime, he found that eating the flat bread required breaking the bread into one bite at a time with his hands. That experience evoked thoughts of communion and Christ’s sacrifice for him, so although it wasn’t a pure no-food fast, it was pretty powerful for him.
I found that I was thinking of our marriage and praying for him throughout the day. It was constantly on my mind that he was doing this. At one point during the day, I suddenly felt my heart overflow with love for him. I intentionally made a dinner that I knew he wouldn’t like (boxed macaroni and cheese and turkey hot dogs) so he would feel less deprived.
As my husband reflected on his day, he said that the prayers were a struggle at first. The website where he’d registered had testimonials from men who had experienced porn addiction, infidelity, and other huge problems. Our marriage is in a good place, so he felt a bit lost at first regarding what to pray about. As he progressed through the day, though, he found that he was thinking more and more about all the huge changes I had been making for him and for our marriage. He began to pray for his heart to open more to me and to what my needs and desires are. As we was explaining this and giving some examples of the kinds of changes he wanted to make for me, I felt so loved and cherished. And we made love, in a very tender and intimate way that is not nearly as much about the happy ending as it is about the connection and reaffirmation of our marriage.
I am blessed.
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Please inform the fasting website mentioned.
It is www. e5men.org. My husband found it several months ago, but this was his first time actually doing the fast.
Indeed you are blessed and so is your loving husband. I hope both of you continue to make changes for each other and your marriage. I hope you continue to write about your progress so that you can share your story of success and failings (hopefully very few and far in between). Your story is inspirational and fills me with hope.
I’ve been trying to look at failings as “evidence of an effort to grow.” I will always make lots of mistakes (and so will my husband), but we are at a point when we know we can assume good will. That makes it SO much easier to deal with our stumbling.