Marking Time


Women mark time. It’s the rhythm of our lives as God designed us—28 days, nine months, a full year until a child is a new age. We move through the seasons of life, and women know when these seasons change.

For many years, I remembered when something had happened based on where I was in my cycle. The planning of anything took into account anticipated bleeding. Which purse should I use? Do I need to pack my heating pad? How much time do we need to add in for bathroom stops?

Although I have passed that time in my life, I still have a drive to mark time, note rhythms, and recognize moments of transition. At the end of this year, I know a season is changing, even in the middle of a cold Midwestern winter. (As I write this, it is -2 Fahrenheit.)

This blog saw its first post nine months ago, but as I look back at different times in my life, I know God has been at work assembling the pieces of this blog for many years. I

I don’t have a full year to reflect back on as we move into the season of 2014, but now is a good time to look at what has happened during this year.

I’m way too fascinated by blog statistics. I still remember the first day I had more than 25 views of my blog (April 15). Numbers don’t reflect the effectiveness of a ministry, but they’re fun for me to track. Although other Christian marriage bloggers link to my posts from time to time, there are times when other blogs link to me as well (probably thanks to WordPress rather than the blogger’s intention). People have found me when they’ve been visiting pages on how to cheat on a spouse, how to be happy as “the other woman,” and what it’s like to live in a polyamorous relationship. And the search terms used to find me? I’m still a little giddy when I see that people are actually searching for “forgiven wife.” Sadly, some of the other search terms involve words and acts I won’t share. Let me just say, “Ew.” But I get a kick out of thinking about how in the midst of looking for something of sin, people land here.

From the beginning, my prayer with each post has been that God uses the words to help just one woman. I’ve written quite a few posts that I think are well-crafted and thought-provoking—but it’s clear that they don’t fit with that mission, so they sit in a folder on my laptop. (Sometimes I go back and pull out paragraphs or passages that can fit with other posts I’m writing. I think of it as franken-blogging.) Other times, I’ll write something and think, Whoa. That isn’t very good. I’m a little embarrassed to post it—but I will come away from prayer absolutely certain that it needs to be posted, so that’s what I do. And those are the posts that bring me the most heart-felt thankful emails from readers.

Several times I’ve written something that I’m pretty sure will be of interest to no one other than me. The process of writing is a ministry for me in a way, and God has found ways to remind me that even if the only one woman who is helped is me, I am worthy of that ministry and my own time just as much as any other woman is. This post, for instance, is one of those self-ministering posts.

I have grown immeasurably through this blog. I have become part of a community of Christian writers. I have made good friends. I even have a bloggy sister. My faith has grown in ways I could not have imagined as 2013 began. This blog pulls together several different things that have always be meaningful to me and have given me a sense of purpose. I have been invited into the lives of other women in ways that matter.

Thank you for being here as I have worked my way through the first nine months of this blog, as I’ve written about my life as a forgiven wife. I hope you stick around for the ride of 2014.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Top Posts of 2013:

  1. Oral Blessings
  2. Oral Blessings – More Resources
  3. Naked and Broken
  4. The Comfort Zone
  5. Because He’s Worth It
  6. Sex Is a Rock
  7. Sex: it’s Not What It Used to Be

Top Posts of the past three months (October-December):

  1. Sex Is a Rock
  2. Sex: It’s Not What It Used to Be
  3. How Not to Think About Sex
  4. Sexuality as Superpower, the Sequel
  5. My Heart’s Desire
  6. Park Your “Sexy” in the Garage
  7. Out of Control

Images courtesy of Vlado at

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8 Comments on “Marking Time”

  1. Wow, I was surprised you have only been blogging 9 months. I was blessed to stumble upon your blog right around 8 months ago and I do mean blessed! I had lived in a sexless marriage for 19 yrs…my husband was paralyzed by same of past choices and I had come to the point of giving up hope of ever having this be a part of our lives. You have given me the courage to make different choices, take baby steps, see a bigger picture, let go of past hurts…I can’t put into words my gratitude. We are on the path of healing and yes, sexual connection! Thank you for your part in this blessing!

  2. I am so glad you took the leap 9 months ago. Your vulnerability and transparency are like no other. I am so grateful for our sisterhood and friendship. Thank you for helping me see that self-ministering posts are OK. If the only woman who is uplifted is the writer, then to God be the glory!

  3. I too am thankful for your writings…many times I connect emotionally and very vulnerably with your words/heart…I grew up in the 70’s and didn’t learn much (or wasn’t listening if someone was talking about) love and respect needs for husband/wife, man/woman…In the past two years I’ve learned a lot, repented a lot and been forgiven a lot by Our Lord…thank you, for sharing your heart and soul with women like me.

    1. I also grew up in the 70’s, and there was so much emphasis on equal rights that somehow I didn’t see that there were still major differences between men and women. I am glad to know you’ve been learning and have accepted forgiveness.

  4. I think the thing that always astounds me the most is how God can use our ounce of willingness to do amazing things. The ripple effect of an encouragement or the effect of a truth spoken… it makes me want to sing and do the happy dance (this is where y’all are thankful that I am here and y’all are not).

    Stay faithful to your vision and watch for the miracles. 🙂

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