On Sunday, it’s Father’s Day in the US.
When my kids were little, I would help them pick out a card and we would get something my husband would like (usually a ball cap or barbecue tongs). I would always give him a card or gift from me, too.
But you know what he really wanted?
Me.
Years ago, an older colleague told me that the only thing men wanted for Father’s Day was sex. It reminds a man that he is important to you and that he is desirable. It says that he matters more than the kids do. “Trust me,” he said. “That’s all he wants.”
So let me pass on that same advice to you:
Do something sexual for your husband for Father’s Day.
Better yet, you initiate—and be sure you do it in a way the communicates “I desire you” (rather than “we can have sex if you want to, I guess”).
Go one step further than you usually do, too.
- Surprise him with an early morning wake-up, especially if he often spends a special day wondering whether or not sex might happen.
- Wear sexy underthings when you go to church. Let him have a peek as you walk out the door.
- Start with a strip tease.
- Give him some oral sex as part of your foreplay or even as the main event.
- Suggest a position that he’s been wanting to try.
- Touch yourself sexually.
- Use words that you know he will enjoy.
- Turn the lights on (or do it during broad daylight with sunshine streaming through the window).
- Have a quickie when the kids are actually in the house and awake.
- Tease, tease, tease—and then follow through. Use subtle sexual innuendos. Eat your food suggestively when your husband is watching you. Flash him and wiggle your backside when no one else can see. Be absolutely certain your teasing leads to sex.
- Invite him to watch you while you take something out of the oven or load the dishwasher.
- Take a shower together.
- After the kids go to bed, wear something very low cut or tight.
- If your husband has asked for something new in bed, let this be the day you do it.
Whenever and however you have sex, be all in and completely enthusiastic.
Give your husband what he really wants for Father’s Day—you.
Image credit | Alexandra_Koch at pixabay.com
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No better gift. Works for every occasion and no occasion.
Absolutely!
The right thing, the right color, the right size. It really is the best Fathers” Day, Birthday, Anniversary, etc. gift ever. If you will enthusiastically give yourself, he will be thrilled! “When you care enough to give the very best.” It never fails to please.
It’s free, and it’s freely given. What’s not to love?
We say in our house, “Let me remind you how you became a father.” Thank you for the reminder and encouragement to care for our men and follow through.
Nice!
A few years ago, my wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s day. When I suggested sex, she said that only perverts want sex on Father’s day! I wonder how many other Christian Fathers have received the same response…
Sadly, far too many men have heard a similar response.
Chris— I just discovered your blog, and this is just the second post I’m reading, but you’re spot on here. I can say, as a husband who’s been married nearly 25 years, my wife continues to be my greatest gift, and one that I’ve only learned to appreciate more with the passing of time. The greatest gift she could give me is herself, wholly.
Thank you for affirming how important this is to husbands.
I don’t think I can affirm enough. Thank you for your ministry here, and the platform your blog provides.
You’re quite welcome.
“Better yet, you initiate—and be sure you do it in a way the communicates “I desire you” (rather than “we can have sex if you want to, I guess”).” This is such an accurate suggestion. So many wives don’t seem to know that their husband knows the difference between “accommodation” and “desire” AND that it matters! As a husband, there are few things within intimacy that make me feel more confident than knowing that my wife “wants to have sex, needs to have sex because she desires it and more specifically, that she desires it from me.” Is marriage all about sex? Certainly no. But if sex were not so important within a marriage, why is “thou shall not commit adultery” one of the 10 Commandments? Too many wives have been told the lie that “to want sex” makes you less of a Christian woman or wife. God created and designed the husband and wife to be one flesh, which means to be bound together sexually. It is proclaimed in the 2nd chapter of Genesis, the first book of the Bible. The theme that Godly Christians should strive to get by with minimal sex is just off base and non-Biblical. Your blog has done a wonderful service to dispelling that notion.