Goodbye, 2019

When I realized this year was nearing an end, my first thought was, Goodbye, and good riddance, 2019. The nicest thing I can say about you is that you are almost over.

It’s a good thing I don’t stop at first thoughts.

Challenges Bring Blessings

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

The year has been very difficult for Big Guy and me, bringing us pretty dramatic changes as he was out of work most of the year and we moved back to Illinois to care for my aging father-in-law. I wouldn’t want to relive this year—but if I stopped at first thoughts, I would have missed some significant blessings in our lives:

• The healing that has happened in Big Guy as he has returned home and been present for his family.
• Watching my father-in-law’s health improve as well as his quality and enjoyment of life.
• The experience of having God answer our prayers in a very clear way. We didn’t like the answer we got, but we were in awe of the way God heard us and responded.
• The ways God used others to care for us extravagantly as we were waiting for His answer.
• Seeing how nearly a decade of serious work had made our marriage into something strong enough to withstand the challenges we faced.
• We have caught glimpses of many seeds that God has been planting—in us and through us. We don’t know what the fruit will be, but we have clearly seen God’s hand.

Although 2019 has been a challenging year in my personal life, those same challenges have brought me blessings for which I am thankful.

Ministry Growth

If I looked only at what is going on in my personal life, I would miss out on what else God is doing.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

When I launched The Forgiven Wife in 2013, I figured I might stick with it for a few months as a small hobby that helped me respond to God’s call. After all, I was still enjoying my long-time career in higher education. I hoped that at least 100 people would read some of my posts.  

I wouldn’t have believed what has grown.

• This year my page views hit another million mark. That’s way more than 100.
• Our Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast continues to thrive. Three years ago we were still in the planning stages, not yet knowing how much we would love our time together and with no clue how other women would respond to our friendship and our frank conversation about sex.
• I opened my new Honeycomb & Spice community in the spring as a women-only place to learn about sex and ask questions. This fall I ran my Passion Pursuit study in the community. It was the sixth (I think) time I’ve facilitated the study, and I expect to do it again in the spring.
• J Parker and I just launched Knowing Her Sexually, a ministry for Christian husbands. We have a blog, a brand new community, and a podcast that will start up this spring.

Blog Posts

Although my work has grown beyond The Forgiven Wife, this blog continues to hold so much of my heart for women and marriages.

I thought it might be fun to share my most popular posts this year.

First, here are the blog posts that were new this year.

1. 20 Tips for Dealing with Jaw Pain from Oral Sex
2. Add Spice to Your Sex Life
3. Your Husband’s Libido Might Not Be What You Think
4. 5 Ways to Work on Your Sex Life without Having to Add Spice
5. 4 Techniques for Understanding Your Views on Sex
6. “Stop Pressuring Me!”
7. Too Little, Too Late?
8. Tomato Pie and Sexual Delight
9. 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex
10. Delight and Intimacy

And here are this year’s most popular posts from the entire blog.

1. Enjoy Your Husband’s Semen
2. Leaving a Sexless Marriage
3. Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow?
4. Living in a Nearly Sexless Marriage
5. Oral Sex Techniques
6. Sexual Honesty
7. He Only Wants Me for Sex
8. Get to Know His Penis
9. Dealing with a Gag Reflex
10. Sex After a Hysterectomy – Part 3: Your New Sex Life

Just a Word

Most years I choose a word to study and use to spur my spiritual growth. (See this post to start thinking about one word for your marriage.)

My 2019 word was SURRENDER. I barely made it a month into the year before stepping away from it. I didn’t like what it was showing me, and I wanted to think that ignoring it would make it unnecessary. It seems that God gets His way no matter what I do, because, well, look how 2019 turned out for me. I had to surrender so many things and surrender to God more than I ever wanted.

I can’t say I like my word for 2020 much, either: ABIDE.

I wanted to choose a nice word, like HEALING or PEACE or FAMILY or LOVE. God had other ideas, and if I learned anything in 2019, it’s that I might as well surrender to God’s ideas rather than try to ignore them.

Over the past several months, God has been showing me over and over and over again that my 2020 word should be ABIDE.

Take a look at the definitions:

• to remain; continue; stay.
• to have one’s abode; dwell; reside.
• to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.; last.
• to put up with; tolerate; stand.
• to endure, sustain, or withstand without yielding or submitting.
• to wait for; await.
• to accept without opposition or question.
• to pay the price or penalty of; suffer for.

These are not happy and fluffy ideas here. ABIDE sounds hard. But 2019 is almost over, so here I go!

Goodbye, 2019, and Hello, 2020!

My first thought is still largely true. I really AM glad 2019 will be over in just a few hours. I am excited to see what 2020 has in store for me and for the ministry that I have seen grow.

How about you?

What do you see when you look back at 2019? And when you dig just a bit deeper, what more do you see? How has God been using you? What are your plans to grow in 2020?

Image credit | monicore at pixabay.com