Big Guy has had a difficult few months, with several challenging situations blasting into him, one thing after another with hardly a chance in between to breathe.
Although I do what I can to support and encourage him in practical ways, I know that he is the one who must do the heavy lifting in dealing with the challenges in front of him.
The best I can do (and truly, it is the best thing) for my husband is to pray for him.
How not to pray
For many years in my marriage, my prayers for my husband were actually prayers about my husband.
God, please help him appreciate me more.
God, please open his eyes to how unloved I feel.
God, please teach him that there is more to marriage than sex.
I told myself I was praying for him, but my prayers about him were really just prayers for myself. They reflected my own hurt—and while my hurt was absolutely worth praying about, I was deceiving myself when I told myself I was praying for him.
How I pray now
My prayers for Big Guy now are truly prayers for him. In praying for my husband, I am approaching God on my husband’s behalf.
I am a beloved daughter of God, one who still carries some hurt from long ago and who wants to feel loved
Likewise, my husband is God’s beloved son, one who still carries his own heart hurts and wants to feel loved—so that is how I pray for him.
I pray for his heart to be whole, for the healing of hurt he carries with him, for wisdom in his decisions, and for him to experience God’s presence in the midst of his struggles.
And sometimes, I pray about me for him, asking for God to guide me in my prayers for Big Guy and for me to have compassion for my man.
How can we pray for your husband?
Since I am ramping up my own prayer life on my husband’s behalf, I thought I would invite us all to pray for each other’s husbands.
If your husband is struggling with something, feel free to leave a comment (with or without details) so we can join you in prayer.
How can we pray for your husband during the coming week?
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My husband is struggling with alcohol.
I am praying for your husband, too. I have watched someone I love struggle with this as well.