In marriage, we should look for ways we can bless and love each other.
My husband brings me my favorite cookies from the grocery store. He gets me flowers. He gives me foot rubs. He takes me on drives to enjoy the fall colors. He does these things not out of a sense of obligation. He does them simply because he knows they make me feel deeply loved.
I make him meatloaf. I fill his pill box every week. I fold his underwear. I get his favorite brand of ketchup.
And sometimes I make love to him.
This doesn’t mean those sexual encounters are just for him. It means that I do things especially because I know they will make him feel deeply loved.
Sometime during the next week, make love to your husband.
Use sexual intimacy to communicate your love in a way that will deeply touch your husband’s heart.
Think of what would delight him. What would give him a feast of the senses? How can you present your body as a visual banquet? How can you touch and kiss him in a way that builds him into a frenzy? How can you show him your desire? How can you extend his pleasure? How can you make him feel consumed with desire for you?
It’s easy for us to not do these things because our husbands don’t need all that stuff. All it really takes is ten minutes for him to have an orgasm, right? Sex doesn’t have to take that long.
But I’m not asking you to just have sex. I’m asking you to intentionally make love to your husband.
Sexual intimacy is not just the happy ending.
It is the beautiful dance with desire that draws you together.
We need to think beyond the orgasm.
Although an orgasm should be part of making love to your husband, it isn’t the goal. The goal is to help your husband feel loved and desired.
So how can you make this happen?
- Let him see that you’ve invested time in thinking about your sexual encounter, whether that means shopping for special items, learning a dance, or turning your living room into a luscious love nest. Doing something that has taken time shows your husband that you’ve been thinking about him sexually. It helps him feel desired.
- Do something sexually that would mean a lot to your man. If oral sex was off the table for a time in your marriage, let this be a time when you bless him with some oral loving. If you’re used to hiding your body from him, strip. Turn the lights on. Fill his eyes with the sight of you. If there is an act or position that you don’t particularly enjoy, offer it.
- Take your time. Tell him on Friday that you are going to make love to him Saturday night. Let him enjoy the anticipation. Give him a bath, slowly washing his body and verbally admiring his strength and manhood. Give him a long sensual massage. Entice him. Tease him. Extend his arousal for as long as he can stand it.
- With every single touch, every glance, and every kiss, say a prayer that your actions will bless your marriage and help your husband feel loved.
Most of the time, you and your husband probably have some kind of regular sex. But next week, make it special for him.
Don’t just have sex.
Give your husband the blessing of feeling sexually loved and desired.