And now for something completely different . . . or not.
I write for women, not for men—most of the time.
While most of my readers are women, I know that men sometimes read here in order to better understand their wives. Although they may benefit from what I have to say, I am careful to think about my writing in terms of how it ministers to women.
I figure that ministry directly to hurting husbands best comes from other men. (You can find some blogs by men listed on my For Husbands page.)
Fellow blogger and friend CSL at The Curmudgeonly Librarian has written a series about how to address sexless marriages:
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 1
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 2
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 3
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 4
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 5
- Addressing the Sexless Marriage, Part 6
- Refused? A New Tool to Help, Part 1
- Refused? A New Tool to Help, Part 2
- “All You Think About Is Sex!”
- Are “Anti-Pearls” Hurting Your Relationship?
I was intrigued by the series. Knowing CSL, I wasn’t surprised by the content. Nonetheless, I found myself having a strong reaction as I thought about how I would have handled my husband trying to apply some of his suggestions in our marriage.
CSL invited me to write a guest post where I could discuss some of his ideas as they might be applied by husbands whose wives were saying no to sex more often than not.
I accepted the invitation, grateful for the opportunity to provide a different perspective on dealing with sexlessness in marriages. I began to write, thinking, OK, I’m writing to guys. Cool. This will be completely different than what I usually write.
Only it wasn’t really different at all, even though it is written to husbands wanting to make a change in their marriages. I talked a lot about emotions and healing. Oh well, far be it from me to be inauthentic on someone else’s blog!
My post at The Curmudgeonly Librarian is about how a husband can help his wife’s heart heal when he contributed to the emotional wounds that are there.
Even when I am writing to the guys, it turns out that I am still thinking about how to support women in their own journeys of healing and change. It wasn’t completely different after all.
A Wife’s Heart
I’ve been watching CSL’s posts on addressing a sexless marriage with great interest.
He recently wrote, “As has been pointed out to me, I have a concern for husbands who are suffering through truly sucky marriages that are draining them of God-given, God-intended life.” I’ve certainly pointed that out to him a time or two—only I’ve said, “CSL, you have a heart for hurting husbands.”
It’s always about the heart with me, and I have a heart for hurting wives—because I used to be one.
Continue reading at The Curmudgeonly Librarian