A couple months ago, my husband Doug (aka Big Guy) called me on his way home from work, just as he always does.
He asked him how my day was, and I told him I’d written a post about our crabapple tree.
“Great!” he said. “Did you talk about how the blossoms blow all over my car and how annoying that is?”
I told him what I’d written about (recognizing growth in marriage), and he said I should write another post about the crabapple blossoms on his car. I suggested, “Well, maybe you could write that one.”
So he did, and here it is.
Chris recently wrote a blog about our crabapple tree. She wrote about watching it change from a dormant tree to a beautiful blossoming fruitful tree. She wrote about viewing it from a new perspective and compared it to nurturing a marriage. It was a beautiful and well written blog about marriage.
But I don’t view the tree the same way. I have to park my car under the tree. The tree drops pollen and blossoms and leaves and birds visit the tree to eat the fruit. I want to park in the garage just past the tree. Why I can’t is a different post (it has to do with our recent move and the boxes that have yet to come inside).
However, as I read Chris’s blog it occurred to me that I view the tree not as a beautiful tree but something that diminishes my nice car by dirtying it. The garage is the safe place. It protects my car from the elements, from the birds, from the pollen and leaves.
It also occurred to me that the tree was a different metaphor for my marriage than Chris viewed. it. To me the tree is the world outside of my marriage. It waits to pollute me. As my car sits outside the garage a storm approaches.. The car is rained upon and the falling leaves caused by the storm stick to it and the car is dirty. If the car is inside the garage, the storm rages around my car but it is safe and protected inside the garage. As a man, if I chose to indulge in the sexual sins of the world then I am in danger of the storms dirtying and damaging me. But inside my marriage, I am safe, protected. I am not in danger of the storms.
I know I am blessed. I have a Godly woman who has learned to enjoy our sexuality. She is my garage. It isn’t perfect. I am still tempted. It may be by a “news story” about the most recent celebrity to suffer a “wardrobe malfunction.” It may be a movie on one of the streaming channels that displays nudity or sex. I am not a prude, I do not shut myself off from the world, but I know that I have my marriage to protect me when I feel tempted to revel in what the world has to offer. It is the garage that protects my car from the crabapple tree.
The bible tells us,
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5
I am my husband’s garage, helping to protect him against the temptations he will face.
When his car gets covered by crabapple blossoms or bird droppings, it is his responsibility to clean the car off and make sure the mess doesn’t stick–but keeping his car in the garage would provide a lot of protection from what the tree throws at him..
When the world throws temptations my husband’s direction, it is his job to keep himself clean–but our marriage provides a lot of protection for him so he has less to clean off.
Think about what kind of protection your marriage provides for your husband.
Does he see you as a safe place and a protection from the storms of the world? Or does your marriage feel more like he’s parking underneath the tree?
Enjoy these other posts about my wonderful Big Guy: